Random Tales, Straight From the Muse!
by Cloud Dancer1014
Summary: This is a story file where all the random ideas that are in my head are spit out. One chapter may be relevant to something I am writing or will be writing, while the next is from out of the mist . . . Tread carefully . . .
1. Neriman Vampire Slayers, Chapter One

I do not own Ranma or Buffy. This is not going up as a fic yet, which is why I'm posting it in a story ideas section. This is reserved for any plot bunnies that hop around in my head. I already have three stories that I am working on. Once I finish one of them, I will get back to this . . . maybe.

For the record, it's been awhile since I last saw Buffy, so if Faith and/or Spike are a bit out of it, I apologize.

This is meant to be slightly humorous, but will be dark in several places, especially when it comes to how Ranma first joined up with the Slayer Army.

Warning: Ranma WILL seem a bit OC here; who wouldn't? She had just spent over a year getting over being trapped as a girl and dealing with the shit end of the 'Slayer Dreams' stick. She has been training girls to fight demons, and been forced to kill both demons and humans allied with said demons to protect the world. She has also kept her lousy luck, which means that there is always something trying to kill her, screw her, or do both to her. With a life like that, who wouldn't change?

* * *

Summary: Ranma vanishes from Nerima, leaving only a note. He returns over a year later, having faced demons, vampires, and her own vivid nightmares, as a Slayer! Most likely Ranma/Faith, though considering their relationship issues, it's probably more of an on/off kind of deal.

* * *

The sun was setting slowly in Japan, as a blue-haired young girl walked out of a Sushi Bar. Tendo Akane couldn't help but sigh. Things had been so simple only a year ago. Back then, all she had to deal with was school, perverted jerks, insane martial artists and . . . HIM. It seemed like it was only yesterday that Saotome Ranma, Nerima's resident chaos magnet, an aqua-transsexual, and her fiancé, vanished; only leaving a note promising his return.

It had been so normal before then . . . or at least, normal compared to Nerima standards, that is. Shampoo, a Chinese Amazon that was also after Ranma, was shamelessly flirting with him and insulting her at every turn. Kuonji Ukyo, Ranma's third eligible fiancé, was also flirting with the boy, but also trying to balance her business and a rather unsteady friendship with the Tendo family, as she had very few friends due to her bastard father's idiocy. Then there was Ranma's father, Saotome Genma, and the amount of trouble that he brought, mostly in other (less attachable) fiancés, several debts, and other issues.

Round that off with Ranma's mother, a somewhat unstable women who wanted her son to be 'manly' with all three fiancés, several rivals in love who just would not take no for an answer, and Kuno . . . well, maybe it wasn't as normal as she would like to think.

And then, Ranma vanished off the face of the Earth.

There was precious little warning to it. All she could tell was that Ranma had been having some rather bad dreams just two weeks before he vanished. All he left was a rather abrupt note, promising that he would return after he had sorted a few things out.

That was over fifteen months ago.

The problem was, the chaos that everyone claimed that he attracted didn't stop coming. Several martial artists came around looking for a fight, and when they didn't get a good one, they ended up causing property damage to the area. Unfortunately for Akane's ego, she was not able to handle most of them, leading her to the revelation that she was not as good a fighter as she thought she was.

After healing from those fights, she tried to get her father, Tendo Soun, to train her more, but he refused, on the grounds that she was his 'little girl'. Happosai, the grandmaster of their art, wouldn't take her seriously either. And she couldn't even think about going to the Amazons for help. For one thing, she was afraid that Cologne, Shampoo's great grandmother, and an Elder of the Chinese Amazons would try something.

For another, they had disappeared shortly after Ranma did, in hopes of finding the errant 'airen' of Shampoo.

That left only one source of possible training at the time, so she swallowed her pride and went to Ukyo for help.

As it was a family style, Ukyo could not show Akane anything special, but she was able to show the other girl how she could improve her form by closing holes in her defense and maintaining control over her temper. When Akane later asked her why she was helping her, Ukyo explained that, while Akane was technically her rival for Ranma's affection, she was also one of the few friends Ukyo possessed, and she'd feel guilty if anything happened to her that she could prevent.

Konatsu, on the other hand, was a major help to both girls, as the cross-dressing ninja's fighting style did not technically count as a family style, though he did keep several techniques under wraps, so to speak.

Fortunately, this help came just in the nick of time, as about two and a half months after Akane came seeking training, THEY came into the picture.

At first, there were only a few reports of people being found dead in alleys. What was odd about them was the fact that they had been drained of blood, and rather violently mangled. No one thought much of it . . . until Sasuke, the Kuno family's ninja, ended up becoming one of them.

No one really thought much of Sasuke. Honestly, he was as much of an annoyance and his master, Kuno Tatewaki, was. However, he was a martial artist of Nerima, and for one of their own to have fallen . . .

Akane remembered that day. It was also the day that she found out that P-chan, a small, cute pot bellied pig that she kept sometimes as a pet, was also Hibiki Ryouga, wandering martial artist extraordinaire. She was NOT pleased about that, especially since she had found out after taking the pig into the bath with her.

She had confronted her sisters, Tendo Kasumi and Tendo Nabiki, about it after malleting the pervert into a low orbit. Neither knew about it, which surprised her, especially considering Nabiki was the local information mercenary. However, after talking to Ukyo about it, she was informed about Ryouga holding a promise of some sort against Ranma (Ukyo didn't want her to know her part in the fiasco, so she wasn't very descriptive). Having thus deduced why Ranma didn't come out and tell her, she forgave him after a few weeks.

As attacks got more and more serious, Akane attempted to talk to her father again, but he kept his stance against it until one of Nabiki's informants were found dead in the same manner. The next day, Soun found her loading a pistol and putting it in her purse. When he blew up over it, she calmly told him that it was the only protection she could count on, since Soun wasn't doing anything to teach her.

Having been shocked to his senses, he sat in a corner for the rest of the day, and when the next morning came, he woke all three of his daughters up early, and started training them again.

This didn't come soon enough to help pay the bills though, and with Genma still mooching off of them, they needed more cash. Kasumi had the house to take care of, Nabiki had her businesses (which was coming out with less and less money, as no one wanted to work the night shifts anymore), and Soun wasn't ready to train anyone outside of the family, so it was up to Akane to get a job.

She worked as a waitress for Ukyo for a bit, but as the night crowds stopped coming, she decided to save her friend the money and work at another restaurant for cash. This was why she was leaving the sushi restaurant, having taken an extra shift because one of the other employees didn't show up when they should have.

"Hey, Akane!" She turned to find her sister walking towards her. "I heard that you were working a late shift, so I decided to come out and walk you home, free of charge!"

"Thanks!" Nabiki, after losing two more of her employees, had taken to the job of bodyguard for anyone who had to go out at night. For everyone but her family, it would cost a fee, but she refused to allow one of her sisters to end up dead in an alley.

They strolled back to the house, taking an open route and avoiding the alleys. In most occasions, that had kept many people away from the conflict.

However, this was not the night for peace.

As they walked, both girls heard the tell-tale sound of two people jumping to the ground behind them. As they whirled around, they heard three more behind them again.

They were surrounded . . .

They were pale, male like beings, save for the fact that their faces were scrunched up. They wore, Japanese yukatas, but the way they moved said that they were expert fighters. One launched themselves at Akane, who punted him away with a ki mallet swipe. Another flew at Nabiki, and she ducked and kicked him in the gut as he went over head.

It felt as if she was kicking a brick wall.

The two girls kept fighting, which was good, considering that the strange men kept attacking. However, neither girl had the endurance to keep something like this up for over half an hour, so in the end, there was only one thing left to do.

After Akane kicked one man into another, Nabiki did the same, and both girls ran for it. They made it several blocks before four more men jumped in front of them, causing them to run into an alley . . .

. . . and the other five men.

They continued to fight, but in the end, Nabiki went down first when one man got a lucky hit in and knocked her into a wall. This distracted Akane, who was grabbed from behind in a steel grip.

"Finally!" one thing exclaimed, its demonic face grinning in horrific delight. "We win, you lose."

"Let go of us, you bastards!" Nabiki yelled, pinned to the wall by two of the bigger monsters.

The first one who spoke walked up to her slowly, fangs glistening. "How about . . . no!" To both girls horror, he opened his mouth and lunged towards Nabiki's neck. Akane screamed, while her sister scrunched her eyes closed.

As Nabiki stood there, shaking in fear, she heard an odd sounding scream, and felt a lot of dust hit her. She opened her eyes, hacking and coughing, and squinted to find the vampires staring at the other end of the alley.

She turned her head to find the figure of a young girl lit up in the streetlights, holding what looked like dango sticks between her fingers. The girl stepped forward, and as both girls stared, they eventually saw that the girls long hair, tied in a loose ponytail, was auburn colored, and she was wearing a red and black Chinese style dress like the one's Shampoo wore, save for the fact that she wore a pair of bike shorts underneath.

Still, it wasn't until the girl got closer that they gasped. Her eyes were blue, and despite a scar that travelled across her face, both girls realized that they knew this woman . . .

"You know, when I heard there was a vampire infestation in Japan, I was thinking that someone had their wires crossed. Looking at your ugly mugs, however, tells me that I owe someone in intelligence an apology. Now, are you going to go down easy, or will I have to take you down . . . hard?" the girl purred.

Saotome Ranma was back . . .

* * *

Akane stared at her fiancé. She liked to think that the time since his disappearance matured her a bit, but the Ranma she remembered from before looked nothing like this.

For one thing, before, Ranma was never really comfortable as a girl; you could see it in her eyes and stance: unless she was truly trying to act, she always came across as overtly boyish. When she did act, her stance would become so utterly girly that it was a surprise that Kuno didn't develop into a diabetic!

Now, Ranma's stance was completely feminine. Her hips were cocked to one side, and the opposite hand rested on its hip. Her smile was seductive, yet cold, as if she were casually flirting with the monsters they were fighting. Her hair, instead of the male pigtail that he was so fond of before, hung down in a somewhat feminine ponytail. Akane knew that this wasn't the time for this, but she could have sworn that she saw a bit of eyeliner on her lashes.

Suddenly, Akane was knocked back to her senses when she felt the guy behind her let go. She whirled around, ready to fight, only to find herself staring at a pale blond man in a biker jacket slam what looked like a stake of wood into the creature's chest. Behind him, another girl was slamming two more into the walls, while hurling what looked like a chopstick through the eye of a third.

As she watched this, she suddenly felt herself being picked up and tossed over someone's shoulder. To her shock, she realized that she had forgot about the fight, and was about to kick out until a soft, emotionless voice told her, "I do not mean you harm; please do not struggle."

She stared at the person's red-leather covered back, and noticed that: 1) it had bluish hair, and 2) it was a female, despite the odd feeling she got from her. Suddenly, she felt the person tense, and then accelerate towards the sky.

As they landed on the roof, she noticed that the blond man was holding onto Nabiki, who was still covered with dust. The man looked at her rescuer, and said, "I see you have your hostage, love. Not too feisty, is she?" His smirk was obvious.

"She is handling this much better than the last one. I am far more used to pain than most, but even I do not like having bite marks on my back."

"Not what you said earlier, love." The man, who had let go of her sister, grinned lecherously at the woman holding her. "And shouldn't you let go of her already? That isn't the most comfortable of poses, and I'm pretty sure that the girl doesn't like flashing everyone like that."

Akane squawked when she realized that her skirt, which was part of her work attire, was scrunched up in the back, and tried in vain to fix it. Her captor, on the other hand, did not let go. "We were told to watch our hostages carefully; I do not want another almost falling off the roof."

"Nabiki, noticing that the man was not looking away, quipped, "My sister is an accomplished martial artist; she can catch herself if she falls."

Akane's captor didn't say anything, but she did drop Akane onto her backside, causing her to squawk. She would have retorted, had a certain redhead not jumped onto the roof.

"My vamps are dust, and we have enough cash to keep us fed for the next few days. How 'bout you, Faith-chan?" she quipped.

Faith, turned out to be the girl Akane had seen before she was pulled out of the fight. She was a tall brunette wearing tight black clothing and a ripped jean jacket. "Everything is five by five, girlfriend, though if that will only keep us fed for a few days, then you better go on a diet!"

Ranma sniffed at that, and then turned to the blond man. "How 'bout you guys? Have figured out who . . . " She stopped, staring at Nabiki, who was standing next to him, in mute shock. She then turned towards Akane, and blinked. "Damn, should have known my luck would pull something like this before I was ready," she muttered.

The lone man in the party blinked in confusion, and then lit up, "Oh, don't tell me that these were some of the people you were going to visit next week?"

"Ranma," Akane said, softly, as she walked towards the redhead. She got closer, and then, as she reached her, she pulled her hand back, and then slapped her!

The crack was as loud as a gunshot.

"How could you, you bastard! You left us here, alone, for over a year, dealing with all the usual shit that you used to deal with! Where were you? You could have at least called or wrote a letter, damn it! How . . how . . . " Akane then burst into tears, and then glomped Ranma, sobbing into her chest.

The aqua-transsexual surprised Nabiki by wrapping her arms around the sobbing girl, and whispering something into her ear. They stayed like that for a time, until the brunette finally called out, "I'd hate to destroy this lovely scene, but aren't you going to introduce us?"

Akane stepped back, chastened, but Ranma just shrugged it off and handed the girl a handkerchief. "Sorry 'bout Faith-chan; she isn't really the emotional type." Said girl crossed her arms and huffed. "Guys, I'd like you to meet Tendo Akane, one of several fiancés that the bastard set up for me, and Tendo Nabiki, resident information specialist. Akane-chan, Nabiki-chan, I'd like you to meet Spike, Illyria, and Lehane Faith, my partners on my current job."

Akane nodded at that, but Nabiki was curious and suspicious. "What do you mean by 'partners'? And what is this job' that you are talking about?"

Ranma scratched the back of her head, and shrugged. "I mean that I work with them, and that they are my friends. As for my job, well . . . I guess you can say its killing vampires and demons and stuff."

"Vampires?"

"Those things that attacked you. They are demons who possess the corpses of other vampire's victims, and then attack and kill other humans. In order to kill them, you must cut off their heads, stick a stake into their hearts, or spray them with holy water." Illyria was succinct in her explanation.

Both Tendo girls blinked at the explanation, but Ranma just nodded, "That's pretty much the short side of it; there is probably a longer explanation, but I don't really feel like talking about it right now." She then shifted her weight back and forth a bit. "Um, can we talk about this as we walk around? No offense, but there is someone else waiting for us back at HQ, and we were supposed to be back with takeout about half an hour ago." Out of nowhere, two large bags with takeout boxes appeared in her hands, and then vanished into wherever they came from.

"S-sure," Akane stuttered, slightly shocked at the display of skill.

Suddenly, she was scooped up by Illyria, and by the time she was let go, they were already on the ground. After glaring at the odd woman, Akane set off, following her currently female fiancé.

Nabiki, on the other hand, was digging for info. "So, Faith-san, what exactly are you to Ranma?"

Faith shrugged. "Best friends, partners in crime and combat, situational lovers at times . . . "

Akane froze, stuck between her past reaction of overreacting and her current philosophy of trying to understand what is going on. Nabiki, on the other hand, kept looking between Faith, who was standing as if nothing was unusual with what she said, and Ranma, who was holding her head in her hands in exasperation. "Faith-chan, I thought we agreed that that would be considered private business, considering the situations . . . "

The brunette laughed, "It may be embarrassing for you, but I don't see how getting splashed with tentacle monster gunk and having to deal with the after effects is that damning."

The youngest Tendo latched on to this as a worthy reason, but was curious, "Tentacle Monster, what are you . . . "

Ranma blushed bright red, as Spike snickered at her. Illyria answered her, "Tentacle demons, much like the . . . hentai manga . . . is that right, Ranma-san?" Ranma nodded, face still in her hands, so she went on, "Tentacle demons, like their fictional counterparts, enjoy using their appendages to rape, molest, and fertilize females. As a survival mechanism, their blood is a powerful aphrodisiac. The theory behind it is that if one warrior manages to defeat one, the blood splattered on her will cause a debilitating lust to occur, crippling her to the point where others tentacle demons may attack and fertilize her without a fight."

Nabiki blinked. "Wait . . . you actually have to kill TENTACLE DEMONS?!?"

"Part of the job description: we kill vampires, demons, demonic cultists . . . anything and everything that goes 'bump' in the night, pretty much," Faith told her.

"Yeah, well, I still don't see where getting sucked into another dimension filled with those bastards is anywhere in there," Ranma grumbled.

"Hey, not my fault that you're karma's bitch!"

Ranma continued to mutter under her breath, as Nabiki rubbed her chin a bit. "I'm guessing that this seems to happen a lot?"

"About once or twice a month, I guess. Ranma, as she said, spent about a month trapped in some freakish hentai hell dimension. Came back a virgin, too, if you can believe that. She's one of the few girls we have that can avoid being impregnated, but she always seems to get hit with some of the guts at some point or another."

"That, or I owe you enough to actually reciprocate," Ranma muttered, face out of her hands and tinted red.

"Hey, I could have just let you suffer under the effects of that lust spell, you know!"

Akane blinked again, "Lust spell?"

"Long story short, one of the girls got fed up with Ranma wanting to become a man again, and thought some righteous female orgasms would be enough to change her mind. It was about a month after we met each other, I think . . . "

"Month and a half."

"Oh, right. Anyways, one of the girls, thinking that Ranma needed to get laid, cast a lust spell on her that was guaranteed to drive a girl crazy within a couple of hours, and geared it to set her after anything male. Amazingly, Ranma managed to last about a week against it. Problem is, they only way to get rid of it would be for her to have sex with somebody, male or female. Since she was getting to the point where she'd jump anything with a cock, I decided to help my new friend and training partner." Faith then gave the redhead a leer. "And what a night it was!"

Ranma blushed heavily, while Akane just stood there, wondering what to make of this. "So in other words, you and Faith . . . "

"Faith-chan and I have an unusual relationship;" Ranma finally managed after a moment, still blushing lightly. "Both of us have been hurt enough to have enough of normal relationships. We both have had crappy childhoods and have major abandonment issues. Neither of us is looking for a real relationship at the moment, but we seem to end up together most times anyways. I won't say that we are truly lovers, but we do seem to end up sharing beds from time to time, depending on our emotional and physical needs."

She then chuckled mirthlessly to herself, "Then again, considering how much of an emotional wreck I was after the curse got screwed up . . ."

They had started walking again during Ranma's monologue to herself, but this statement caused Akane to stumble again, "Wait a minute, what do you mean by that?!?"

Ranma froze, and then slapped herself in the face. "Knew I forgot to mention something. Faith-chan, you want to start this?"

Faith grumbled to herself for a second, and then started, "Long story short, there is mystical group of girls out there known as Slayers, who awaken sometime between fourteen and eighteen. Used to be only one Slayer, destined to stand alone against Vampires, Ghouls, and Demons, but two and a half years ago, a friend of ours casted a spell that fixed that, turning everyone who had that potential into a slayer, and allowing other girls to awaken at certain points in time. Ranma's problem is that that bit of magic doesn't work well with others."

Nabiki was about to ask a question, but Ranma, in a quiet voice, asked, "Do you guys recall how I kept waking up, screaming at night, and wouldn't say anything about the nightmares I was having?"

Both Tendo girls looked at her, but before they could comment, Ranma went on, "When a Slayer first starts to awaken, they have a bunch of dreams that are related to the past lives of other slayers. Most of the time, it deals with how they died . . . and none of them died pretty."

She went on, not seeming to notice anything around her, "Some were tortured to death . . . others burnt to crisps by demon fire . . . quite a few were raped horribly . . . and I had to live through each dream as if I was that girl . . . when the Slayer Spirit finally came to me, it reacted poorly to my Jusenkyo curse, and practically shattered it, trapping me as a girl! I couldn't stand it anymore; I was emotionally and mentally crazed, and . . . I just had to get out of there, before anything could happen to make me snap . . . "

She shuddered, and unconsciously slid a hand down to her lower belly, as her thighs pressed together tightly. Faith noticed this, and in a sympathetic voice, asked, "Let me guess . . . you had the hot poker dream too, huh?"

Ranma nodded, and both Tendo girls blinked at this. However, Nabiki, being the smartest of the duo, managed to figure out what was going on, and paled. "Wait, you mean that you had a hot poker shoved . . . oh KAMI!" She rapidly turned green, and Akane, after a beat, soon followed, having had enough to figure out what was unsaid.

Faith nodded, pale faced, as Spike muttered death threats against any vampire who would have done that. Ranma, on the other hand, snorted softly. "Feh, as if that was the worst of them."

Faith, Akane, and Nabiki froze and looked at the girl in shock, as Illyria cocked her head and asked the obvious question. "What do you mean, Ranma?"

Said redhead seemed to shrink into herself, and then, quietly whispered, "Sometime in the 1920s or 1930s, the current Slayer got caught by a demon worshiping cult. Instead of killing her, however, they decided to use her as their playtoy." She shuddered, then added, "She died three years later, after being raped in all three holes, pierced, tied up, and impaled on various phallic objects. She did not die sane."

Ranma began to rock herself from side to side, and started muttering to herself, as if she had lost it again. Faith, reacting quickly, grabbed the smaller girl in a tight hug, and then hefted her into her arms. "OK, time for talking is over; if you want to continue, follow me, and I'll show you where HQ is; I'll try and fill you in after I get this one to bed."

She started running, and soon, both Tendos found themselves running behind her, Illyria, and Spike, heading deeper into the night.

* * *

COMING UP NEXT: We meet the last member of our Slayer party, and the Tendo girls get a better description of what being a Slayer means. Ranma manages to regain her hold on sanity and rejoins the group. Spike and Illyria are truly introduced to the Tendos. Later, a return to Nerima! Stay tuned!


	2. Naruto of the Sheikah, Chapter One

I do not own Naruto or Legend of Zelda in any way, shape, or form. Do not sue, please!

This was brought about while I was looking at stories by other artists I was going to finish, if allowed. I had, several years back, found a Naruto fic where Naruto was a Sheikah. I took interest in it, but it was discontinued and taken down not long after I had found it. My muse came up with this, and then insisted I do something with it.

Do not worry about the other fics; I'll try to continue most of them over spring break (in one week).

Warning: there will be a bit of pronoun confusion at the beginning: this is on purpose. Haku will be a female in this, but until after the battle, Naruto only knows her as a feminine looking male.

Pairing: Not established. May end up being NaruHina or NaruHaku, though doing something with NaruYaku may also be interesting. Not sure if I could fit Tenten in here. May end up being a Multi-pairing/harem fic.

Also, this is not going to be a Sasuke-basher. Sorry, but my muse seems to think he can be saved in this, though there will be lasting emotional scars.

* * *

Summary: There is an old Kekkei genkai that had been hidden in Uzu: one that is said to hold the power to see the truth in any situation, belonging to a Clan related to Death and Shadow. Long thought dead, it is about to wake up in one young jinchuriki . . .

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto watched helplessly as Uchiha Sasuke sacrificed his life for him.

They were currently in Nami no Kuni, fighting against Zabuza and his apprentice. When he had arrived late for the fight, he saw Sasuke having difficulty fighting against some guy who could use mirrors to increase his speed and shoot senbon needles from everywhere. Without thinking, he jumped in to help.

However, not even Naruto's quick reflexes could keep him from becoming a pincushion, and when it finally got to be too much, Sasuke quickly threw himself in front of him.

_Why . . . why would he do something like this . . . he was at the top of the class at the academy . . . why . . . why would he sacrifice himself for me . . . Dead last . . . We hated each other . . . why . . ._

Normally, this would be where the masked apprentice says something rude, and ends up pissing Naruto off to the point of unleashing Kyuubi's chakra.

"He landed a blow on me without flinching . . . dying to protect you. To protect a precious person, even though he knew it was a trap, he was still willing to jump in. He is a shinobi that deserves respect. Is this the first friend who has died in front of you?"

"This is the way of the shinobi."

Well, at least some things never change . . .

* * *

Inside the seal, the Kyuubi was enjoying itself for the first time in thirteen years.

Few people knew this, but every time a jinchuriki used his or her tenant's chakra, they were allowed to see, feel, and hear what the jinchuuriki saw, felt, and heard. The more chakra used, the better the results.

Now, this is where the dividing line appears: where Naruto's path splits in two.

This time, the Kyuubi over estimates his chakra output.

Normally, if asked for chakra, the demon fox would be allowed to push out as much as the host can take, and sometimes even more than that. However, he was never asked in this case. All this chakra that is being allowed out is being pushed through by an opening of rage and adrenaline.

This time, Kyuubi pushes it too far, and gets hit with recoil. The Shiki Fuuin lights up with a bright golden glow, and blasts the fox with an alarming amount of power, forcing it to draw in much of its demonic energy . . . and releasing its hold on something it was hoping to keep sealed for eternity . . .

As the Kyuubi was forced into unconsciousness, his last sight was a red eye with three triangles above it, spaced out across the top eyelid, and a large red teardrop hanging below it.

Before, he knew that he would eventually be freed. Not even death could hope to stop something that never lived in the first place. Now . . .

The Kyuubi fell into darkness, thinking what very well could be its last thoughts.

* * *

Haku watched in shock and awe as a wave of evil orange chakra broke free from Naruto and crashed into the ice mirrors, shattering them on contact and pushing her back. However, before she could figure out how to counterattack, Naruto froze, and then let out a piercing scream. The chakra, which had been pouring out of him, dissipated almost instantly, and instead, a white light seemed to shine through him.

The light increased in intensity to the point where she was forced to cover her eyes, and then . . . it stopped.

Blinking furiously, Haku looked up, and gasped.

Instead of the short, blonde boy, a taller, white haired figure stood. In fact, if it wasn't for the orange jumpsuit that was hanging off of them, Haku could have sworn that it was a different person there.

However, what really got her were his eyes . . . slowly changing from blue to bright red.

* * *

Naruto swayed for a bit, and then shook his head. For a moment, he had lost himself in his pain and anger, but now it felt as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on his head.

He raised his eyes to look at the masked figure, and some of it returned.

He had taken Sasuke away . . . and now, he was going to pay.

Naruto lunged at him. Had he been thinking clearly, he would have realized that he was going faster than normal, but he didn't care at all!

Before he knew it, he was forcing a tightly curled fist into the boy's gut, and then kicking out and knocking him into the ground, hard!

Blow after blow landed, preventing the masked ninja from doing anything, until finally, he threw a fist right through the guy's mask . . . revealing a face that was quite familiar.

* * *

The next five minutes was a blur. Haku, having been knocked down, started telling him a story that felt as if it was far too similar to his own life. However, near the end of it, Naruto was quickly realizing that something was wrong with his body. For one thing, he was a bit too tall.

Another thing was that, as Haku's story was being told, he could see several different colors emanating from him. Something in his brain placed those with emotions of pain and sorrow. Also, the mist that surrounded them was becoming clearer, as if his eyes were gaining the ability to see through it.

He came back to awareness when Haku asked him to end it . . . to take a kunai, and end his life. It shocked him, and he hesitated for a few moments . . . and then, things shifted.

Colors that seemed to indicate shock, worry, and fear flashed from Haku, and then the boy performed a hand sign and flashed out through an ice mirror. However, before Haku managed to speed off, Naruto was already moving in that general direction.

So when Haku appeared in front of Zabuza, ready to take a blow for the only person who even seemed to care, Naruto was close enough to lunge out, instinctively knocking her out of the way.

Hatake Kakashi, Naruto's jonin sensei, shocked enough to follow with his eyes, unconsciously turning his Chidori just enough to graze Zabuza's side.

Zabuza, on the other hand, was just plain shocked.

As both Naruto and Haku rolled out of the way, Naruto could feel the slow grip of exhaustion making its presence known. As the mist covered the area, he fell unconscious.

As he fell unconscious, his hair slowly shifted back to yellow, and three whisker-like markings, which had almost faded into non-existence, darkened back into how they normally looked.

His new stature, on the other hand, stayed the same. Changing hair color was simple. Changing size, on the other hand, was only possible in one way without the use of certain ninja techniques.

* * *

He awoke in a darkened room. Looking around, Naruto could see nothing but shadows . . . and darkness.

Suddenly, he felt a presence, and whirled around to see a tall, redheaded woman. Her eyes were blue, like his, and she had a sad smile on her lips.

"Who . . . who are you?" Naruto asked. He knew that never seen this woman in Konoha, and yet . . . she seemed familiar.

The woman stepped forward and knelt next to him. When she spoke, it seemed to have an echoing effect. "Naruto, my precious child . . . I am your mother . . . "

The boy's eyes widened. His mother . . . his mother was dead!

A sinking feeling hit his stomach, as tears dripped out of his eyes. Naruto lunged at the woman crying into her shoulder as she held him tightly. As he slowly cried the pain out, he asked, in a broken voice, "I'm . . . I'm dead . . . aren't I?"

A soft chuckling reached his ears as he felt himself being pulled from her shoulder. "No, my child, you are not yet too that point. This is merely the boundary."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

The woman smiled softly, and pulled him into another hug. "This is merely the crossroad between life and death. I am dead, and I shall always be that way but you, my son, are only visiting. This is the only place that we can speak, and we must speak, for our time is running out."

Naruto gasped and tightened his grip. "What . . . NO! I don't want to leave you . . . "

"You must, for you are the last of our line, and if it dies out, then I fear that the world may soon follow."

Naruto raised his eyes to look at the woman, ready to demand answers, but gasped when he saw her eyes turn red, and her hair fade into white. "Naruto-chan, our family has ties to an ancient history. Our earliest ancestors were the protectors of royalty, and were probably the ancestors to the modern day ninja. For centuries, we have aided the world from the shadows, protecting it from the darkness that threatens to engulf the entire world. We are the only ones with the knowledge of the Ancient Temples . . . We are the Sheikah."

As Naruto heard his mother's words, he felt the world around him change. Suddenly, they were surrounded by an ancient castle. Soon, it faded into an evil, twisted version of itself, and then back into its original form. From there, it became flooded with water until a bubble rose above it, protecting it until the water came crashing down around it. From there, it fell into ruin until nothing was left but rubble. Then, the water drained out, and people came back to repopulate the area.

As he looked on, he found himself looking into a mirror, and seeing himself, yet . . . it wasn't him! Instead of how he normally looked, he found himself about half a foot taller, with red eyes and pale white hair. His distinctive whisker marks were gone.

"This is what your true form look like," he could hear his mother say, "We as a clan possess the ability to alter how we look to a certain degree, which is useful as the Sheikah have gained notoriety as assassins and warriors of the highest order. We had taken to hiding as the Uzumaki clan of Uzugakure, but our enemies manipulated things so that the destruction of the entire village was brought about. I was sent away, and found myself in Konoha."

Suddenly the image changed, turning him back into his normal look. "However, the only reason you were able to gain your Sheikah form and doujutsu was because the Seal forced the Kyuubi's chakra back into you when it was unconsciously pouring out in your rage-induced state. He has been suppressing it in hopes of ending our line for good. In order to pass it on to the next generation, our sheikah blood must be active, and while the Kyuubi keeps it inactive, it will never pass on."

The redhead turned Naruto around and stared into his eyes. "Naruto, in order for you to fix this, you must travel to the hidden Sheikah village of Kakariko, hidden below Yuki no Kuni. There, you will find the spirit of its guardian, an old woman whose soul duty is to watch over our ancestral home. Go there, and she will be able to help you."

The world around them flashed to where they were in Nami no Kuni, and then flashed northward, over the water, and then westward, back across land that reached a mountain range that stretched northward. There, between two mountains, was an old, rundown village. The images held that for a moment, and then flashed back into the shadows.

Suddenly, Naruto felt himself fading. Panicking, he turned back to his mother to find her in tears. "Go, go to Kakariko as soon as possible; don't wait to go back to Konoha, but go as soon as you are able to. I will try to guide you as best I can through your dreams. When you get back to Konoha, ask Old Man Sarutobi to tell you about me . . . about Uzumaki Kushina . . . and about Minato . . . you look so much like him . . . "

* * *

Naruto jerked awake, tears in his eyes, his breath heavy.

He was back in his room at Tazuna's place. Looking down, he was surprised to see himself wearing a set of old pajamas. As he scrambled to his feet, he realized that he hadn't imagined his change in height. Looking at the window, he noticed that his reflection looked the same as always though.

Hearing the door open behind him, he was surprised to see Sasuke staring back at him, eyes wide.

"S-Sasuke! Your alive! How . . . "

The black haired avenger stared back at him for a moment, and then blinked. "Oh . . . right . . . turns out, Haku . . . that ninja we were fighting . . . only hit a paralyzing point with her needle. It put me in a death-like state, but it didn't kill me." He then snorted, "And it's about time you got up."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto growled. He then blinked, "and wait, I thought Haku was a guy?"

Sasuke's mouth opened to retort, but before he could say anything, a familiar voice rang out behind him, "I have been telling people that to help keep myself safe. The world is a hard place, but it is even harder on girls".

Haku stepped out from behind Sasuke, wearing a blue kimono. Naruto realized that she looked a bit more feminine than he last saw her, and also noticed that she must have had her breasts bound in their last two encounters, as they were a bit more noticeable than before. Her right arm was in a sling. "It is nice to see you awake, Naruto-san. You've been unconscious for almost a week."

Naruto blinked, and then narrowed his eyes at Sasuke, "You mind explaining what I missed, teme?"

The boy snorted, "I got most of this from Sakura, but apparently, after you kicked Haku away from Kakashi's attack, you were both knocked out. Right afterwards, Gato showed up with a bunch of thugs, ready to double-cross Zabuza. Not happy about it, Zabuza took up a kunai and then attacked them, killing the greedy pig, but also getting some life-threatening damage. From there, his last actions were to drag himself over to Haku and ask Kakashi to take care of her for him, as she was the closest thing he had to a daughter. A band of rioting villagers came around and helped chase the rest of the bandits off afterwards."

Naruto nodded slowly, and then looked towards Haku and told her, "I'm sorry about Zabuza . . . I know he meant a lot to you."

Haku bit her lip, and then nodded, "Th-thanks."

"Hey Sasuke-kun, what are you . . . " Haruno Sakura, Naruto's other teammate, walked into the room, and, seeing Naruto awake, ran back to the door to shout, "KAKASHI-SENSEI, NARUTO'S AWAKE!"

Naruto rubbed his sensitive ears. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day . . .

* * *

Naruto was up and dressed at about midnight. He had taken another nap to rest after coming too, only to find himself talking to his mother again, who impressed upon him the importance of getting to Kakariko soon. Oddly enough, her voice seemed to be softer, as if she were speaking through a barrier of some kind. Before he knew it, he was awake again, and it was the middle of the night.

Naruto grabbed his gear and snuck out of the room that he shared with Sasuke. Creeping downstairs, he found a piece of paper and started to write a note, before he heard someone behind him.

Whirling around, he found Haku, who was standing in the doorway. Looking at him with her brown eyes, she said, "You are going somewhere, aren't you." It was not a question.

Naruto hesitated, and then replied, "I have to run an errand before I go back to Konoha."

"To Kakariko, right?"

At Naruto's stunned look, the girl replied, "Zabuza-sama came to me in a dream earlier tonight. In it, he told me that after being brought to the afterlife, he was confronted by a redheaded woman who offered him a choice: he could either spend eternity in hell where he belonged, or he could serve as a vassal spirit to the Sheikah clan. His first act was to contact me and ask that I go with you; apparently, your spirit guide is being blocked by some force, and there are things you should know before entering the village, like how to get in."

Naruto took this in, and then nodded, "OK, but we need to hurry. Are you already packed?" When Haku showed him her pack by the front door, he created a Kage Bunshin and set it to writing a note. Then, both ninja set out the front door at a run.

* * *

Kakashi awoke to banging on the door. Normally, he never slept in like this, but he was having the strangest dreams . . . ones that he had difficulties recalling. Getting up, he opened the door to find Sasuke there, holding a note for him. Grabbing it, he opened it up to read:

_Dear Kakashi-sensei,_

_By the time you read this, I should already be out of Nami. I can't tell you where I'm going right now, but it is very important that I do what I need to do. If you want more information, ask Sarutobi-jii-jii to tell you about the Manako no Shin (eye of truth). He should know at least the legends behind that. _

_Haku has decided to come with me for now, and she will most likely return with me when I come back. You may want to tell Jii-jii to have an apartment ready for her. Don't put us down as missing nin or anything. It's just I really need to do this, and if I don't do this now, it will be too late._

_ --Uzumaki Naruto_

By the time Kakashi managed to get out and look, all traces of the blond and his companion had grown cold. They were currently on a ship heading north to Yuki, and there was no going back for them.

* * *

A few days later and back in Konoha, Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage, was filling paperwork out when his secretary came in to tell him he had a visitor. When said visitor came in, he knew he was in for a bad day.

It was a young woman, with long brown hair and light brown eyes. It was Rin, one of the Yondaime's two surviving students. Having taken issue early on with what he was doing with Naruto, she had resigned and joined the Daimyo's protection squad. For her to come back would mean something bad was about to happen.

Walking into the room, Rin immediately shut the door and enacted a low level security seal. She then turned around and asked, "Where is he?"

Blinking, Sarutobi replied, "Kakashi is currently out on . . . "

"NO! I am not talking about him. WHERE IS KUSHINA'S SON?"

The old man gaped for a moment, and then, slowly, replied, "I thought I told you before, Kushina's child died in labor . . . "

"Bullshit!" At Sarutobi's shocked look, Rin took out a golden necklace, shaped like three triangles stacked in pyramid form. At the center was a glowing jewel. "This necklace was keyed into Kushina's child, and was set to react to when he gained his kekkei genkai. It reacted over a week ago. Now, WHERE IS HE?"

Sarutobi was unsure how to reply to this, but before he could think of anything, the door burst open and Hatake Kakashi came running in. "Hokage-sama, we have a problem. Naruto ran off in the middle of the night, leaving only a note saying something about the Manako no Shin. You wouldn't happen to know what that means, would you?"

Rin gasped and raised her hand to her mouth. Thirteen years ago, she had tried to adopt Naruto as her own; even if he wasn't Kushina and Minato's child, he was all alone and needed someone. However, Sarutobi had refused to allow it, and the child was left in an orphanage. Several years later, she came back to try again, as she had seen how the boy was being treated. She got the same answer.

Finally, after she found the kid lying in an alley, almost dead, she came back and asked a third time. In response to this refusal, she resigned and sought to take her case to someone in the Daimyo's court. She was less than successful.

But if Naruto really was . . . quickly, Rin slammed a heavy fist into the Sandaime's desk, shocking both him and Kakashi, who had ran in without noticing her. "Listen well you old fool! You are not to send anyone to look for Naruto. You are to try and keep the council back and distracted, and you are not going to punish him in any way, shape, or form when he comes back. Understand?"

Sarutobi floundered for a moment, and then narrowed his eyes at her, "You know where he went, don't you?"

Rin was not threatened, "In truth, he should have gone there ages ago; Kakariko has been the home of the Sheikah clan for ages now; all members of the clan were taken to be trained on their tenth birthdays there."

She then narrowed her eyes at the man, "If you send anyone out there to find him, they will never come back; the defenses of Kakariko are legendary, and to be caught as a trespasser on their lands merits a fate worse than death. The only reason I know this is because Kushina-chan adapted me into her clan after she heard of my status as an orphan."

She then walked out of the room. Hastily, both men ran out to follow her into the street, Kakashi to ask what she was talking about, and Sandaime to try and get her to tell him more. They were met by Sakura and Sasuke, who had just caught up to their sensei.

What they saw was surprising. Stopping in the center of the street, Rin had taken out a light brown ocarina and had started playing a rather tumultuous song on it. As she did so, wind from all over gathered around her, blowing up sand and dirt and raising chaos in the streets.

By the time the wind died down, Rin had vanished with it.

* * *

NEXT UP: Naruto and Haku make it to Kakariko, where they meet some rather unusual people. Rin shows up as well, and introduces herself. Naruto's seal is adjusted, and he attains a more permanent new look. Training begins. All this and more, whenever I get around to it!


	3. Hikari no Daija: The Serpent of Light V1

There is a story out there called 'Hikari no Daija: the Serpent of Light' by Miriani , that hasn't been touched in 15 months. I hate it when people stop writing a story, though I will understand not having the inspiration to write. Speaking of which, I am still researching Detective Conan, so just bear with me. I keep looking for a decent case with a violent death a good length of time after Ai-chan joins up, but I haven't found one yet to work with. Sorry.

When I first read the story, I loved the idea of making Ranma, the most accepting person in the Multiverse, the heir of a person who, stories say, was the most prejudice person in HP history. I happen to like the hypothesis that history got twisted somewhere, but that is fanon-based, so I can't say much on it. I recall sending messages and reviews through this and my alter-ego, asking for a continuation, but I have yet to hear anything. I even sent one asking for the writer to give me some sign that he/she was still writing, but I got nothing.

Eventually, I recall telling him/her that I may try and continue it on my own, if she didn't do anything with it soon. I think you know the results.

I am not yet prepared for any such thing, which means if Miriani adds a chapter between now and the next year or two, I will willingly drop all my plans and follow the master/mistress. However, if that doesn't happen, you will find it being continued on my file.

If Miriani is reading this and is feeling threatened, let me know and I will drop it. I will not endanger my own stories for something like this.

IF Miriani is reading this, is not feeling threatened, and is making plans for a continuation, then let me know and I will just keep this up as an attached oneshot.

IF Miriani reads this and wants to use it, just give me a shout-out at the beginning of the chapter, and I'll be happy.

If Miriani is reading this and finds no plans to continue HnD: tSoL, then I wouldn't mind your official blessing on this, said story, and any future shorts that may arise.

That said, enjoy!

PS: Sorry for the delay in posting this, but my computer crashed just after Spring Break, before I could post this and two other chapters I had (one of which was for TTWPL; now I have to try and redo it . . . it was so GOOD too . . . ). Enjoy this, and please leave me alone for a while . . . I have the sudden urge to pull a Soun . . . [Ending Transmission, before I start bawling]

* * *

Harry froze, unsure of what to do. In front of him stood a short dwarf dressed up as if he were a cupid or some short of stupid angel. '_Damn Lockhart!_' he groused in his mind.

The foppish professor, in his usual idiocy, had decided to hire a team of dwarfs to deliver poetic valentines to students from all of the schools. He had been dreading getting something like this, and unless he got out of here immediately, it looked as if it would happen.

He turned to run, but the twelve year old boy soon found himself being sat on by the garishly dressed dwarf. Harry immediately noticed that he was surrounded by a horde of students, and he could have sworn he saw Draco's ugly mug somewhere among them. The dwarf above him cleared its throat. "His eyes as green as pi . . . "

Suddenly there was a jerking sensation, and Harry found himself rolling over on the ground a couple of times. When his vision cleared, he found himself looking into bright blue eyes surrounded by red hair.

"Ow, what the hell . . . " the voice went off into a Japanese rant, and Harry immediately recognized the redheaded Ranko Shidou, who had helped him get out of trouble that past Halloween when he found Filch's cat petrified in front of the girl's bathroom on the second floor.

She was eventually cut off when the dwarf beside them groaned. Ranko immediately shot up and backed away, and then looked over at Harry. "Let me guess, they're bothering you too?" Harry sheepishly nodded his head.

A few more shouts were heard down the hall, and both kids turned their heads to find the rest of the crowd moving aside for more dwarfs heading their way. "She's over there!"

Ranko flinched, and then pulled Harry up by his arm, "I've got the speed, but I don't know where I can hide. You've been here long enough to know a few good ones, but you're not fast enough. You help me, I help you. Deal?"

There was no doubt in his mind what the answer to that was, "Deal!"

He immediately found himself in a fireman's carry over the redhead's shoulder as she headed towards the railing, "Hold on, Potter-san, because this is going to be a fast one!"

Before he could reply, she had leapt up on the balcony, and then leapt into the air.

Normally, he would be screaming his head off as they fell several stories, Harry would later think.

However, normally people fell after jumping from such a height.

Instead, Harry found themselves hurtling towards the railing of the next floor UP, and as Ranko rebounded off of that, she let out an insane cackle, "You'll never take me alive, you pitiful excuses for Cupids! OHOHOHOHOH!"

What worried Harry was her next comment, "Hm, I think I know why Kodachi did this all the time; it's actually quite fun!"

* * *

Severus Snape was not happy.

The man had found teaching potions to small children to be incredibly painful. Had the Wizarding World had any concept of University Schooling, he would have made an excellent professor, as students should have already known the basics of potion brewing. However, he was dealing with first time brewers, and with his short stock of patience, he did not make for a good educational experience.

However, this year he had a favorite student to teach. Not Draco . . . God, not Draco. If it wasn't for the fact that Slytherin had a lot of Death Eater spawn, he would have been persecuting them almost as badly as he did the other houses.

He did not want to end up pissing off the wrong Death Eater. He was a potion brewer for Merlin's sake. He might be able to hold his own in a duel, but up against one of them . . .

Ranko, on the other hand, was a brilliant student, and had taken to brewing like I duck to water. Mind you, her potions were average at best, but it was her attention to what was going on around her that made her remarkable, catching some of her fellow Housemates and even some from Hufflepuff before they made nasty mistakes.

The problem was, she was ten minutes late for class, and he could feel himself on edge.

Suddenly, the classroom door opened and SLAMMED shut, and he whirled around to fire off a sharp barb to find Ranko and POTTER, of all people, leaning against the door and panting. Ranko then seemed to tense, and then, grabbing a hold of Harry's hand, she hurled them across the room and behind his desk, "Snape-sensei, get rid of them for me!"

A heavy knocking slammed against the door, and Snape hurried to the door to find a pack of dwarves standing in front of them. He slammed the door in the first ones face, and then shouted through it, "I will not have such dunderheadishness in my room, so BEGONE!"

As footsteps could be heard from outside the door, he turned around to look at his desk, where Ranko and Harry were poking out from behind. He opened his mouth several times, but he didn't know what to say. Finally, he turned to the other students, and announced, "I expect you to have the entire section on Pepper Up Potions memorized for next week, as well as a foot long paper on their usage. DISMISSED!"

After the students ran from the room, pushing away a few dwarfs that were still by the door, he again turned to the desk, and in a calm voice, asked, "Am I to assume that they were the cause of your disheveled state, Miss Shidou, and not Mister Potter?"

Harry jerked back, and was about to say something when Ranko jumped in, "Potter-kun helped me get away from them, so please don't punish him. Those dwarfs are like bloodhounds, and they seemed to follow us everywhere, even our House Common Rooms! I haven't even eaten breakfast yet!"

Snape scowled, and then snapped his fingers. When a house-elf showed up, he directed it to bring enough food to feed the Weasley family, causing Harry to scowl and Ranko to blink and confusion.

As the house elf disappeared, he then turned to Harry, "Mister Potter, I am correct in assuming that Mister Weasley as a total of six siblings, correct?"

Harry bristled, but stopped and stared at Ranko when she smiled brilliantly and grinned at the oily professor. "Arigatou, Snape-sensei!" He was even more startled when Snape smirked at them.

Little did he know that Ranko would soon outstrip his best male friend in the race for the record of eating the most food in the least amount of time.


	4. Tears in the Darkness, Excerpt

I do not own Ranma. I would not be fighting with the banks over how many organs to sell online if I had that kind of money maker.

Quick warning: this is dark! When I get a decent beginning going, this will be part of my first original story. Want the details? Then check out my forum that was converted into story idea storage! That's also where you'll get a decent summary.

I do not condone rape. I do not like writing about rape. Problem is, sometimes forcing horrors on one's characters is the best way to make them grow and shine in the end. If anyone likes canon Ranma, then leave this place! I will be slaughtering canon character personalities, and rebuilding them in my own twisted way. Ranma will not be an idiot or a misogynist. Nabiki will not be 100% Ice Queen. Kasumi will not be as nice as you may want her to be.

Darkness tends to do that to a person.

So please, fans of my happier stories only need a day or so to find a new chapter of Time Traveling Martial Artists. Give me another week, and The Trouble With Past Lives may also get an update.

Also, I still have uses for flames. Want to burn me? Then grab the torches. Flaming my stories will not do shit!

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Tendo Kasumi stalked out of the house. In a different world, if . . . that . . . had never happened, she would never do something like this. Unfortunately, things can't always work like the world is a happy shonen style manga . . .

She found the intruder that had stepped into their lives sitting by the koi pond. He just sat there, smoking a cigarette . . . IN HER REALM!

"I do not allow smoking inside the house," she told the boy with a curt, icy tone.

He looked at her with calm blue eyes and shrugged, "It's either I smoke a few of these every month or so, or I tend to have anger attacks."

"Still, it is not a nice habit, especially for someone who proclaims to be a martial artist," she snorted.

The boy sighed, "Suit yourself." He then took the still lit and smoking cancer stick and jabbed it into the palm of his right hand. Kasumi stifled a squeal at this, but he looked up and rolled his eyes. "Relax. I haven't been able to feel anything in that hand ever since it got crushed in one of Pop's crazy training techniques. Cool it."

Kasumi finally managed to relax herself. After taking another deep breath of air, she finally said, "You are not welcome here."

Again, the boy shrugged, the pigtail in the back bouncing as he did so. "I know, but I have about as much choice as you do in this."

"Pardon? Last time I checked, you didn't raise that much of a fuss inside."

"Neither did you. The Old Man has a couple of things that he is currently holding over my head; otherwise I would have left his ass behind months ago."

Kasumi left off at this. She had heard a bit from her younger sisters, though she would never agree with what they were doing. This . . . boy . . . was not letting things go like she thought they would.

Little did she know that she had just lost control of the conversation.

"So, how long ago did it happen?"

Kasumi jumped, startled. _He couldn't know_, she reminded herself. "What are you talking about?"

"How long ago did it happen to your sister, Nabiki-san?"

Kasumi froze like a deer in headlights. _H-how did he . . . _"I don't know what you are talking about," she replied in a shrill voice.

The reply stopped her cold. "I've seen that look she gave me before. I've seen it on the faces of many other victims, both male and female." He turned a closed gaze on her, "And your father doesn't know about it, does he?"

"It's neither his business, nor yours," she snapped back at him.

"It may not be my business, but isn't he supposed to be your father?"

Kasumi seemed to grow smaller, shrinking in upon herself, "He hasn't been much of a father since Mom died . . . " she snarled.

The boy shrugged and looked away, "It's better than having my Old Man as a father. At least you know he loves you, or at least he did love you. I doubt the Panda ever even thought of anyone other than himself!"

Kasumi narrowed her eyes. "Now that is not nice!"

The boy snorted, "I give you a week, and you'll have the start of the same attitude concerning him that I do. Live with him for ten years, and you'll be lucky to still be sane, much less than alive, at the end of it. So please, don't try and paint a good image of him; he'll only disappoint and disgust you in the end."

Kasumi didn't change her posture, but she let it go anyways. "So, what exactly is your father holding over your head?"

He turned back to the water, face impassive. "Two things. First, he has yet to tell me where Mom's grave is . . . "

The oldest Tendo sister gasped, stunned. "Wh . . .what?"

She got another shrug. "I was dragged out on this training trip when I was five. I can't remember much before age six, and even then, my memory is spotty beyond a few years ago. I have no memory of her left . . . I just want to be able to see her resting place."

Kasumi just stared at him, feeling a bit lost. She had tried to come out to chase the young man off, but instead, she found herself . . . sympathizing with him. "And what is the second thing?"

"Recognition as a Master of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu."

And like that, her sympathy was lost. "Why anyone would want to fight is beyond me."

The lad shrugged. "Someone has to protect people; the police can't be everywhere."

Kasumi turned her nose up at the boy, "If everyone was nicer to each other, than violence wouldn't even exist!"

This got a reaction out of the boy. He turned towards her, eyes still blank. "So what are you saying? That bad things only happen to people who deserve it?"

"Why, yes! If people were nice all the time, then nobody would have a reason to hurt anyone else!"

The boy just stared at the girl. Suddenly, he started laughing.

The laughing just got louder and louder, with Kasumi staring at him in shock. Finally, he managed to get out, "That is the biggest piece of bullshit that I have ever heard! Bwahahahahahaha!"

Kasumi scowled at him, but he just kept laughing. Finally, he managed to calm down. Silence reigned for a beat, and then he asked, "So, by that same logic, why did Nabiki get raped then?"

He continued to stare at her, as several beats of silence went on. Finally, Kasumi said, "When mother died, Nabiki took it upon herself to earn money for the household. It started up as managing the finances, but it grew into running a gambling ring at school, and then blackmail and the like."

The boy stared at her for a bit, and then said, "You know, I wasn't expecting you to actually justify it like that."

Kasumi gaped as the boy leapt up and started to pace. "Let's try this another way. I know this girl over in Kyoto. Met her two years ago, when I was fourteen and passing through with Pops. Nice girl, sweetest little thing you've ever seen, and I don't mean that as a pervert or anything! She was about two years younger than I was, and was a stellar student at her school. Loved her parents more than anything, and almost never disobeyed them. She would always wave at people and smile on the way to school and back, and had a habit of staying late for school activities and clubs."

He then turned towards Kasumi, his voice getting louder and more intense until he was almost yelling. "So tell me, what did she do? I spoke to her parents and her friends, and nobody had an unkind word against her or a problem with her! She was friends with almost everyone! So tell me . . ." The boy started glaring at her. "What did she do, to deserve getting kidnapped by some creep, taken into his apartment, and getting violently raped for two days and nights after the kidnapping?"

Kasumi gasped at this, but he went on. "I've always had problems sleeping, so at night, I tend to patrol the area I'm in. I heard the sounds of a young girl, crying out in pain and humiliation, and I went to investigate. I recognized the girl from the papers, and . . . let's just say that the bastard was lucky that the girl was hurt as bad as she was, or he'd be dead right now!"

By this point, the boy really was yelling. "I stayed with her when the police came to check out the disturbance, and even when we were taken to the hospital to have her checked out, she continued to hold onto me, and would freak out every time someone asked me to leave, or when an unknown male came into the room. She even flinched when her own father came in, though she calmed down right afterwards! I stayed with her for a week, keeping her safe, letting her cry on my shoulder, trying my best to keep her calm when she had nightmares! In the end, the only thing that kept her from freaking out when I left was my oath to her that I would return!"

He stopped, panting heavily, and then went on, somewhat calmer. "I came back two weeks later for the court trial of the bastard who did it. With all the evidence against him, his lawyer could do nothing for him. When he was sentenced, do you know what he did? As the cops dragged him away, he started ranting about how it was her fault!" He nearly sobbed, "He swore up and down that she was driving him insane with her beauty! Her kind smile, her friendly wave, her entire nature was causing him to go mad! He then swore that she wanted it! She wanted him to take her away and 'worship' her body! She wanted him . . . "

His voice died out, and the boy shuddered, holding back tears from his watery blue eyes. Kasumi, on the other hand, stood there, shocked and horrified. However, she found that terror would be all that she would ever feel for the rest of the night when he turned and twisted the knife. "I wonder how many people are out there right now, thinking the same thing about you? How many perverts are out there, watching you smile and act so kind to them, and feeling like you are teasing them? Taunting them, perhaps? I wonder . . . what they feel about people, especially cute, innocent girls, being . . . nice . . . to them . . . "

Kasumi stumbled back, terror, horror, and shock on her face. She felt sick and dirty. She felt . . . she shuddered, tears leaking down her face. She moved to run back into the house, but found the boy standing right in front of her, not finished yet.

"Nobody deserves to be raped. You could be a bully, or a mercenary, or even a killer, but nobody deserves to have somebody forcibly take your innocence away like that. And not everyone nice is safe like that. Karma doesn't work in that way. Life happens, shit happens, and all that stuff. Nobody is exempt, save those who can protect themselves, and even then, shit can happen that can undo it all. Nobody deserves it, especially your sister!"

The eldest Tendo girl jerked back as if slapped, and the boy stepped away, satisfied. "Nabiki doesn't need someone who is acting out of duty to help her; she'll never heal that way. What she needs is the unconditional, non-judging love of an older sister. Remember that."

With that, the boy knelt down next to the koi pond, reached in, and splashed water on himself. The figure that stood back up was shorter, with red hair and large C cup breasts. As the girl walked away, she turned her head towards the house. "Tomorrow, tell Nabiki-san that she has my solemn oath that I will never intentionally harm her. If it will help, I will see to it that the only males inside the house are the fathers, though I would have to ask for the furo to be considered neutral territory; I kind of like bathing with hot water. I give my solemn oath that this will be, and Saotome Ranma never breaks his oath."

With that, the redhead leapt away, leaving Kasumi to finally flee back to her bedroom inside the house.

Within one of the bedrooms upstairs, a shadowy form staggered back from her window, stood there for what felt like an hour to her, and then fell back into her bed.


	5. Nezumi 12 Continuation

Welcome to my latest attempt at a continuation, this one from Princess Star Neko. The fic is Nezumi 12, a crossover fic from Ranma and Fruits Basket.

Yes, Fruits Basket is a shoujo manga. Yes, I read it. No, I have yet to finish the thing, though I am going to finish it sooner or later.

Long story short, this was the very first manga that I have ever read, and I actually kind of liked it. I later got into several awesome shounen mangas, but still the whole idea of thirteen people having to deal with a curse that kept them from being able to socialize comfortably with the rest of the world interested me. So when I found a fic that crossed Furuba with one of my favorite shounen stories, I jumped into it.

Problem was the Princess Star Neko hasn't touched it in over three and a half years . . .

The same deal with my other continuation ficlet applies here. If Princess Star Neko doesn't want me to continue this, all she needs to do is ask. If she gives her blessing, I will eventually write out a plan to make this complete myself.

If she doesn't contact me at all, I will take it as implied consent, as that will mean that either she isn't around anymore, or she doesn't care anymore.

Again, any flames will be put to work, so make them good ones, if you make one at all.

I am so poor, it isn't even funny. I can't find a job; nobody is hiring. You sue me, you get nothing.

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Sohma Shigure watched in amusement as his latest housemate, one Honda Tohru, rushed around the house trying to make sure that things were absolutely clean. Normally, he would not have allowed her to stress over something so trivial, but they had guests coming.

The less there was to trip over, the better.

The handsome, black haired writer stood in the doorway to his office, wearing his usual kimono and glasses ensemble, holding in a chuckle. _Oh, to be young again . . ._

His other two housemates, and fellow members of the Juunishi (Chinese Zodiac), were also watching . . . or at least one was. Sohma Kyo, the outcast of the Juunishi, was leaning by one of the windows, staring out of it. His bright orange hair contrasted with the pale white color of the wall behind him.

In a canon Furuba World, Kyo would be standoffish, competitive, and short tempered, but also charismatic and kind in his own way: almost like a slightly more civilized version of Saotome Ranma. However, without the presence of the Rat of the Zodiac, Kyo had a chance to grow up differently.

Now, he was still rather competitive, but without a rival, he was a bit more even tempered. His charisma was still the same, but he had a better time of handling things like being around people. His martial arts skills were still going strong (for a normal person), but instead of leaping in and attacking, he had a more catlike fighting style; sort of a stalk and pounce battle tactic, that made him a figure to be feared in the ring.

Still, this did not mean that he couldn't be annoyed by certain factors, namely the third residential Sohma. Sohma Momiji, the Rabbit of the Zodiac, was happily helping Tohru clean the house. Still bright brown eyed and cute as a button, the blond haired boy zipped here and there, sweeping the floor. Shigure, the Dog of the Zodiac, had already taken him aside and warned him not to get too close to the guests, but he was still eager to meet new friends, especially if they were friends of Tohru.

Finally Kyo, who was a bit more laidback in this timeline, decided to ask, "Hey, Tohru, exactly how many people do we have coming over, anyways?"

Tohru turned around so quickly, she would have fallen had Momiji not caught her arm. "Oh, that's right! We may have three guests here tonight!"

Shigure cocked his head to the side, "Um, Tohru-kun, I thought you said there would only be two people coming over?"

Kyo's orange eyes raised in curiosity as the lone girl in the house blushed. "Um, well . . . when my employer over in Nerima heard that I was moving in with three unknown guys, she insisted on sending over one of her grandchildren to make sure that you weren't mistreating me or anything like that." She rubbed her head as she said this, though only she would know that it wasn't out of embarrassment, but out of remembered pain.

That stick of hers hurt!

At this moment, a knock was heard at the front door, and Tohru ran over to let her two best friends in. Uotani Arisa, the taller of the two girls, came in with an easy going grin, with her long blonde hair draped down her back. Hanajima Saki, on the other hand, gave Tohru a small smile, and walked in.

Of the two girls, Hanajima-san was the one that made Kyo more nervous. Every time she looked at him, he could feel the black haired girl's charcoal black eyes staring through him. It was said that she could see and manipulate denpa waves, whatever that meant, but none would cross her, especially when it came to Tohru Honda.

"So, the gangs all here," Uotani said, grinning at her dearest friend and the three Sohmas.

"Um, actually . . . " Tohru began, but was interrupted by a chipper "Nihao!"

This startled both Uotani and Hanajima, who whirled around to find a moderately tall girl with silver hair. She wore a bright blue Chinese pantsuit, and was carrying a large backpack over one shoulder. "Sorry I'm late, but I had to arrange for Mousse's distraction. He always seems to mistake me for Shampoo, and I didn't want him to interrupt anything tonight."

The Sohmas gawked at the odd looking girl, wondering what she was talking about that involved hair products, but Uotani snapped her fingers, "Hey, don't you work at that Neko Hanten place with Tohru? I think I remember seeing you there!"

The girl nodded. "Probably. I'm Xian Yukina, adopted member of the Chinese Amazons of Jusendo Valley. I'd bow, but I brought some extra ramen with me, and I don't want to upset the bag."

Kyo and Shigure continued to stare, but Momiji, who had walked Tohru home on several occasions, leapt right in front of the girl. "Oh, are you one of the waitresses there? Is it true that you guys actually have to catch the bowls when you go to serve them?"

Most people would be put off by this, but Yuki just giggled and patted the boy on the head, mussing his hair while he was at it. "You should come see it yourself, on the house! After all, a friend of Tohru-chan is a friend of ours!"

Momiji grinned at this, but Tohru fretted, "You really didn't have to bring food! I was actually about to cook . . . "

"Nonsense! This is supposed to be a sleepover or something, right? I may be wrong, but you're supposed to have fun during this thing, so the less work, the better! Besides," she added, winking at their female host, "this way, we can push the dishes on one of the males here, and they can't complain about it too much."

Shigure blinked, "What? Huh?"

"Oh please! Tohru may be paying the rent by cooking and cleaning for you, but the least you could do is wash the occasional dish or two!"

"I'll do it!" Momiji yelped, grinning wildly, "I usually help Tohru wash them anyways, so I know what to do; you really don't want Kyo or Shigure doing anything like that . . . "

"Hey!" Kyo snapped, feeling vaguely insulted.

Yukina smiled at the odd boy, and then moved to set her bag down. As she turned around, she noted Hanajima staring at her strangely. As a cold prickling sensation rippled down her back, she asked, "Um, hi, and you are . . . ?"

"I am Hanajima Saki," the gothic girl told her in a muted voice, "You are related to Yuki, the waiter at the Neko Hanten, correct?"

"Um, yeah. Something like that . . . "

Hanajima cocked her head at the Amazon. "Your waves are the same. Even twin siblings have different waves . . . who are you?"

Yukina blinked twice, and then gasped, "Oh, you must have the Aura Sight! DIdn't think I'd see one of you here!"

At the confused looks of everyone else, she explained, "Certain people have the ability to see the auras of different people, and can read their emotions from it. It's said that an aura is a direct manifestation of someone's soul."

Kyo froze, panicking. _I knew it! Could she know? Could having her over here reveal everything? What should I do . . . "_

Uotani, on the other hand, was confused, "Funny, I figured this was more a psychic thing than empathic."

Yukina nodded, "That's how most of them start out, though Aura Sight tends to manifest differently in each person. I once met a woman who could see Auras as invisible animals that followed us around, almost like they were guarding or watching over us."

Hanajima raised an eyebrow as she turned to look at the Sohmas, "That would explain a lot."

"I'll explain more about my aura tomorrow, it would make more sense then." Yukina told her. In preparation for the night, she had used some Waterproof Soap on herself, as if what she suspected was true, the guys here would be less into physical contact of any kind.

Besides, even then, it wasn't like it would matter much . . . if she was correct.

She swung the backpack up into Kyo, who caught it out of reflex. "Here, you can carry this into the kitchen."

Kyo huffed, surprised, "Man, this thing must way a ton!"

"Oh please," Uotani scoffed, "It can't be that heavy, Carrot-top!"

As the two began to bicker, and as Tohru lead Uotani and Hanajima upstairs to her room, Yukina waved them off, "I'd like to talk to Shigure-san, if it's alright."

Kyo turned around to warn the girl off, as Shigure was (by his standards) a massive pervert, but the Dog of the Zodiac was already in fine form, "Of course, if you'll step this way, we can meet in my office."

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As Shigure closed the door to his office and turned around, he noted that the girl, Yukina, was staring at him, not in typical schoolgirl curiosity or lust, but as if she was inspecting him, almost critically. He quickly put on his poker face, "So, what is it that you'd like to speak to me about, Yukina-san?"

Yukina continued to stare for a moment, and then looked down, raising her hands up to undo the snap on her locket. "As you have probably figured out, I'm originally from China . . . "

"I kind of figured that out from your accent," Shigure replied, grinning."

The girl nodded, "But what you may not know is that my mother was originally Japanese. She was travelling while she was pregnant, and when the bus she was on had an accident, she ended up meeting with the Chinese Amazons."

Shigure quirked an eyebrow, noting something, "Was . . . ?"

Yukina nodded, "She died due to complications while giving birth to me."

The Dog of the Juunishi nodded, "I see. Still, what does this have to do with me?"

Yukina bit her lip, "Among some of the possessions she left for me was this locket," she handed it over to the man, "I was hoping you might be able to tell me something of it."

Shigure took it, still somewhat confused, and slowly inspected it as he played with the clasp. As he opened it, he froze in shock . . .

Of the Mabudachi Trio, neither he nor Sohma Hatori really had happy home lives. The moment his mother had him, she had turned to alcohol to ease the shame of having a dog as a son, while Hatori's mother had to be brainwashed by the last Dragon of the Juunishi to forget about him, as she was slowly starving herself. In the end, both lost their memories of their children, and later divorced their husbands after a couple of months.

Still, Ayame's mother was different. Sohma-Masaki Hikari was always there for both him and the other two. The day she held Ayame in her hands was the happiest day of her life, even if he was a snake for it. She was always kind and gentle, and would take care of the three of them as if they were all her children.

And then she disappeared.

Ayame had gone into a deep funk afterwards, as did Hatori. It was all he could do not to follow them. Still, he did his best to raise them up, to make them laugh and smile again. Still, they could never forget Auntie Hikari, even when Ayame was handed off to the bitch who considered herself to be his new 'mom'.

Now, as he stared at the picture of himself, Hatori, and Ayame, he remembered her all over again, almost as vividly as if they were happening right in front of him. Her smile, how she would hold him when he cried, how gentle she was . . . and how they had bought this locket for her, as a gift from all of them.

As he turned his eyes upward to Yukina, he could feel tears coming to his eyes. Yukina, who was smiling sadly at him, as she moved even closer . . .

Closer . . .

Too late, he realized what she was doing, feeling her arms wrap around him. He waited for the change to come, but soon realized that it wasn't. He looked down to find his cousin hugging him, her long silvery-grey hair shining in the light.

Shigure was always the cunning one of the Mabudashi Trio, and even now, as he relaxed into the arms of a girl who was the daughter to the one real mother figure he had in his life, part of him was even now running the statistics.

The only people who could hug a Juunishi were another Juunishi. All of the Juunishi were accounted for, but the Rat.

Yukina was hugging him. He wasn't transforming.

As he sat there, holding the girl, he couldn't help but grimace a bit. _Kyo is not going to be happy about this . . . _

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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN NEXT:Shigure tries to figure out what to do about this new turn of events; a member of the NWC flies in (not Mousse); more explanations are made; Yukina finds out about the deal with the Cat, and is not pleased. . .

Just a note to my readers: I have taken up trying to revitalize old thread over at Anime Addventures, so if you can't get enough of me, feel free to look for a Wandering Soul going through and bringing new life into almost forgotten fics. If you think I should be getting back to my own work, look at it this way: I would have never gotten the idea that would help me continue The Martial Artist and the Great Detective after its lengthy hiatus if I hadn't started working through Anime Addventure threads.

New threads over there bring on new ideas, and if I can get more people to continue them by trying to revive old threads that caught my interest, then I will do what it takes to help them along. Plus, it's giving me some practice by letting me write threads pertaining to items that I have no experience in, such as Sailor Moon crossovers. No one can complain too much if I misrepresent Pluto or Naruto or something like that, so it's a win-win situation for me.


	6. Possible Start to an NGE fic

I have no idea where this came from. I had an idea for this a while ago, but it was dim, and based only on certain scenes. However, I had nothing set up for an intro, so when this hit me (while watching/researching NGE for Saotome Shinji), my muse insisted on having it written down.

The problem is, as I wrote it down, I immediately lit upon another idea that would probably start out similarly, and I have no idea how to choose between them.

The first idea would consist of an original storyline, involving Shinji being raised by a group of slightly eccentric mercenaries. He'd be far more confident, and prone to jump into things such as gang fights, breaking up criminal rings, and other major things. NERV would not like this, but Gendo would soon find himself out matched, as trying to limit Shinji would draw multitudes of rival and enemy mercs who wouldn't give a damn if the world ended tomorrow, just as long as they got Shinji's head on a platter.

This Shinji would be a killer of men, but he'd have his standards, and a decent sense of humor.

Option number two involves an accidental interest in Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfiction that I've picked up. Imagine, if you will, an Ikari Shinji being raised by Xander Harris himself, along with a motley crew of lesbian witches, slayers, and demon hunters. The action he'd get into would be a little more covert, and Gendo would never learn about it until it was too late. Our main character would be more easy going, but still deadly, with fighting skills honed by facing off with whatever demons his guardians would let him handle (and a few that they had no choice BUT to let him handle).

Throw in a bunch of Hawaiian shirts, and we'd have more of an action comedy, rather than a pure action adventure fic (the first option in a nutshell).

This won't come out for a while, as I'll need to map out what exactly I plan to involve in this. I plan to eventually try to do both, but I don't want to rip off the first one writing the second, so much planning will have to go into this. I'll leave it up to you guys to decide, so please vote and review.

Below, you see what could be the first page and a half to either fic. It's geared towards Option 1, though it wouldn't take much to turn it to Option 2. Sadly, going further would require me to make a choice, and I can't do that as of right now. If it seems kind of weak, I apologize, but I've never been confident when it comes to beginning a story.

Oh, and I own nothing. Don't sue, or I'll just give you my debt.

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Katsuragi Misato was in a rush.

Everything at NERV was going normally before today. Ikari Gendo, the Commander at NERV Central, was still considered a hard ass, and his second in command, Fuyutsuki Kozo, was doing his best to raise morale in the work place. Section 2 were sitting around playing drinking games . . . honestly, was that the best money could buy?

Then today happened . . . today, when the Third Angel, Codenamed Sachiel, attacked Tokyo-3, right when she needed to pick up the Third Child.

Misato glanced at the seat next to her, where a small file on the Pilot sat. She recalled glancing at it earlier, but to be honest, all it had in it was a name and some basic information. The picture inside showed a short, brown haired boy who looked kind of wimpy. What little information it did have painted a sad, lonely picture.

The purple haired bombshell slid around the corner, finding the train station within her sights, as well as the debris that was heading towards the lone figure there. Quickly, she pulled ahead of it, taking it all on her car's side. As the smoke cleared away, she turned to the side to fire of a cheery greeting, and froze.

She unconsciously recognized the brown hair and face of her charge, but that was where the similarities between him and his picture ended. He was slightly taller than expected, wearing a black, long sleeved dress shirt and black slacks. Both were rather loose on him, but Misato could tell that he had a few muscles built up underneath the cloth. On his back hung a backpack and a sheathed katana.

Still, few people could keep their posture when large pieces of metal and shrapnel was coming towards them, and the shaky grin the young man gave her showed that he was not amongst the exceptions. "Katsuragi-san, I presume? You've got great timing."

Misato smirked, "Well, what can I say? You gonna get in, or shall we hang around some more?"

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Ikari Shinji was greatly amused. Not five minute after getting in the car with Misato, he had decided that either she was a retired stunt car driver, or one of those individuals who got off on driving like they didn't care about getting killed. Mind you, he wasn't of the nature to complain about it.

After all, he had driven with worse.

Glancing backwards at the monstrosity that almost stepped on him, he noticed all of the fighter jets retreating. He also noticed that the car was starting to slow down. "You may want to at least get behind that slab of concrete over there; it looks like they are about to drop an N2 mine on that bastard."

Misato jerked over to look at him, but the car got noticeably faster. "How do you know about N2 mines? Those things are supposed to be top secret!"

Shinji smirked, "You'd be surprised what I know."

Just as they pulled behind the slab, a bright flash filled the sky, followed by an ear-shattering explosion. Misato tackled Shinji, pulling the boy downward and, inadvertently, towards the woman's buxom breasts. If Shinji was raised like normal guys, he'd probably be fainting due to massive nose trauma, but Shinji wasn't really like most boys. At least, not in this Universe.

Ten minutes later, and Ikari Shinji really found himself liking Misato more and more. It took a special mind to confiscate several batteries on grounds of Military Emergency, and knowing bureaucracy, she just might be able to get away with it . . . after a couple pounds of paperwork, that is.

However, he decided not to mention that. As a Ranked Officer, Misato probably had a negative relationship with that shit anyways.

He thumbed through the introduction to NERV booklet she handed him earlier. It wasn't like he needed it, as he had already been briefed on what NERV was. Still, the propaganda hidden in the pages was mildly amusing.

He ignored the mechanical tram they had gotten on, and barely acknowledged Misato reporting in to her superiors. He did, however, notice when the tram entered what seemed to be a wide open space.

Misato could only smirk at the look of open awe on the boy's face. "Welcome to Tokyo-3, the last bastion of mankind!"

Shinji wasn't easily impressed, but a Geofront of this size was always something to gawk at.

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PS: If you are waiting for the next chapter to Saotome Shinji, I will be posting it soon; research is going strong now that I've gotten started.

The Trouble with Past Lives, however, is giving me issues. I may have an idea mapped out how to begin the next chapter, but it needs some work. Bear with me, please.

Also, I could have sworn that I updated Time Traveling Martial Artists already . . . need to check on that.

Later!


	7. The Handler

I came up with this a few months ago, but I think this was sparked when a reviewer mentioned how girls aren't the only victims of rape. For those who don't recall, this was after the Chapter of The Trouble with Past Lives where I had Kushina teaching her first Kunoichi lesson.

The thought behind this was that, why is it that kunoichi are the only ones depicted or theorized to go on seduction hunts? Are they alone, or do they have support? How active is this support? What exactly did Naruto do over his three year training trip, if he only came back with a few new tricks and a better taijutsu style (if only just)?

Other than that, I can't really say for sure where this came from. Maybe my long attempt in finding work, which has not only just succeeded, but has been endangered because of a rookie mistake on my part is to blame. Maybe it's because I got too bored. Who knows?

Warning: there will be mention of rape, prostitution, and sex slave trading, aside from the angst of having to seduce someone for a mission. This is some messed up shit right here, so don't blame me for killing your good mood.

I own nothing, and I will not blame anyone for flaming me for this. I will, however, put any flames to good use.

Note: I had to come back to finish that last two or three pages after some time off. If something seems off, it's probably because I doubt I'll be as depressed as I was when I first started writing this any time soon, but I had to get this to a decent stopping point before I could kill it. I may continue this thread later, making it a twoshot, but for now, just deal with what I've got. Updates to some of my other stories will come soon, now that I can think clearly.

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Tsunade sighed. This was going to be troublesome.

A mission had come in. An assassination mission. The problem was, however, that the subject was eerily good at hiding himself, and knew most of the jonin who had participated in seduction and assassination missions on sight.

The reason for this being that he has had to avoid many of them himself.

Still, they had received this mission, and they had an obligation to at least try to see this through.

To one side of the office slept Uzumaki Naruto. They had undergone a drinking contest last night, as Tsunade had to get this mission through, and she worried about what he'd do if he found out who was going on it.

Still, it had taken an awful lot of chakra suppression drugs to knock him out.

The door soon opened, revealing the three kunoichi he was sending on this mission.

Haruno Sakura walked in first, her pink hair pulled back in a ponytail. As a medical specialist, she was typically needed closer to home, preventing her from being sent out on missions such as these. Still, typically all jonin kunoichi were sent out on a seduction mission, just to acquaint them with the typical means of information gathering used by all of the Hidden Villages.

It was a point of pride to Tsunade that neither her apprentice nor the other two kunoichi present before her had yet to be sent on one, and now she was starting to hate herself for what she was going to do.

Following Sakura came Yamanaka Ino. The Yamanakas had long been information gatherers for the village, but most of them were either known out in the field, or not eligible for this mission. Ino's long blond hair hung down behind her as she sashayed into the room.

Behind her, Hyuuga Hinata walked in as well. Recently, Naruto had taken an interest in the Hyuuga heiress, to her father's annoyance. Still, the results spoke for themselves, as Hinata continued to grow to a point where she managed to surprise Hiashi in a spar, tripping him and ending the duel.

It had been accidental, but even an accident can be used to win a battle.

Still, she refused to strike at her younger sister, Hanabi, which annoyed the Elders to no end. What really got their goats, however, was that Hanabi could no longer strike Hinata, though not for lack of trying.

This burned Hanabi most of all, to the point where, one day, she tried to follow her sister when she went to train. What she discovered was a rather unusual game of tag, complete with several dangerous traps, some more prank traps, a bunch of swinging rocks and logs, and a rather foxy blonde.

Hinata and Naruto later had to rush the girl to the hospital, after she accidentally walked into a set of pranks involving a rolling log, orange paint, a cream pie, a couple of kunai, and a rubber chicken. She stayed there for several weeks healing from stab wounds, a broken leg, and a shattered ego.

Needless to say, it was getting to be extremely hard to hit the blunette Hyuuga, and it was a village-wide rumor that she and Naruto were going out.

Her status of Hyuuga heiress gave her father only minimal control over what missions she could be allowed to do, but when the reward for the mission came through, Hiashi was shot down by the majority of the council. Hinata didn't know this, but he was currently getting drunk back in his office.

As the girls shut the door, Tsunade greeted them with a nod. "Thank you for coming. I have a special mission for you three today."

The three sat down in the chairs provided, but not before Hinata glanced worriedly at Naruto. The blonde just snorted, and then rolled over in his sleep.

Tsunade focused on not sweatdropping, "I have called you here for a special mission that just came in. As you all know, kunoichi of your rank usually participate in seduction missions of some type. Normally, this is done to procure important information. In this case, it is a cross between a seduction and an assassination mission . . . yes, Yamanaka-san?"

Ino nervously licked her lips, "Pardon, Hokage-sama, but none of us have had a mission like this before, and well . . . why are we getting this mission?"

The Godaime winced, "I do not agree with having all of the jonin kunoichi participate in seduction missions, and I have done my best to only give them to only those who have had experience prior to my Coronation. However, the subject of this mission is crafty, and has been hunted down by many before you. When assassins failed, they sent seduction mistresses to seduce and kill him. They failed. The clients worry about the subject, and have moved from Hidden Village to Hidden Village, raising the price after each failure. When he came here, the Council took one look at it before insisting that we take this mission."

"The dilemma lies in the fact that he has a copy of almost every bingo book out there, and has memorized the faces of every assassination and seduction specialist out there. Due to either your career paths or your statuses, you have not been listed in any Seduction missions yet, so you will be relatively new faces."

Hinata paled at this. She was counting on her clan to get her out of this, but it looked like she'd be forced to participate regardless. She had planned to give herself to Naruto-kun, but it looked like that wouldn't be.

Ino and Sakura kept their composure, though both had similar thoughts.

Tsunade sighed, "The subjects name is Takanato Kensuke, a ronin samurai from Tetsu no Kuni. He is wanted for numerous crimes, which include embezzlement and murder. His skills with his sword are said to be unmatched. He is very paranoid, but our sources have discovered a pattern to it. Once a month, he drops by a nightclub by the borders between us and Yugakure called Jiyuuna Ookami . . .

At once, Naruto sprung up, scaring all four kunoichi. Dodging both Tsunade's and Sakura's punches, he asked, wild eyed, "Did somebody just mention the Jiyuuna Ookami?"

He was met with four startled stares, so he turned his eyes to the desk. Tsunade realized what he was going for only too late. She tried to snatch the file from him, but he darted back, eyes scanning the file for information.

"GIVE THAT BACK, GAKI!" Tsunade shrieked, forcing the three jonin kunoichi to cover their ears.

Naruto didn't answer for several seconds, and when he looked up, Tsunade had to resist the urge to shudder. His blue eyes, normally full of energy and enthusiasm, were emotionless. "I call handler," was his only reply, as he tossed the file down on the desk.

Sakura, used to knowing what was going on, asked, "Um, what's a handler?"

Naruto ignored her, "I'm assuming that the council has already seen the file, and this meeting is the result?" The pinkette blinked at this; Naruto was definitely sounding different.

Had she asked, Ino would have agreed with her, but Hinata knew that Naruto had a better vocabulary than what he typically used.

Tsunade was caught off balance by this, "Well, yeah. It was decided yesterday . . . "

"Who decided that the ambush point would be the Ookami?"

"Well," Tsunade scrambled to gain control of the conversation, "I think Homura suggested it; she took over intelligence after Jiraiya died, and her sources told her how Takanato frequented the place . . . "

"Did she ever tell you why he did it?" When the Godaime shook her head, Naruto sighed, "The place is run by a couple of missing nin from around the land. They've fixed it so that they can identify any ninja entering the building with 100% accuracy. It's impossible to sneak in unnoticed, but going in the front way gets you food and drink dosed with powerful chakra suppressors. If you don't eat the food or drink the drink, they watch you like hawks, and drag you behind the bar for some heavy interrogation. The only way a ninja can go in and out without getting quizzed and killed is to go in, drink, eat, get drunk, and then leave. You can't even follow anyone up to the private bedrooms, as they'll throw you out, regardless of whether the night would be about sex or seduction."

Hinata and Ino paled at this, though Sakura growled a bit, "OK, how do you know this? And what's this handler thing you mentioned earlier?"

Naruto glanced at his teammate. "I was gone for three years with Jiraiya. Do you really think that the only thing I came back with was improved Taijutsu and a few new renditions of the Rasengan? He trained me to take over his spy network for him, and when he died, every one of his agents started working for me."

Tsunade gaped at this, "Then why the hell has Homura taken over our intelligence department?"

The blonde boy shrugged, "Jiraiya never reported to her; all of his reports had been to the Hokage directly, or through one of his perverted books, and only when he had something to report. The rest of the time, he sorted through things himself. He trained me, so that's what I do as well."

Naruto then turned to Sakura, "In high classed seduction missions, the kunoichi involved usually gets a handler, someone to supply information and backup in cases of emergency. Most times, the handler's job is to make sure that the seductress doesn't get in too deep-he or she acts as an anchor so to speak. On rare occasions, the handler may be forced to act alongside the agent, helping to bolster her background story or to get her into position. To be honest, I was ready to offer this whenever the council forced Baa-chan here to send one of you on a mission like this."

Hinata jerked around, looking at Naruto wide eyed, "Wha . . . "

The boy just sighed, "It's rare for any jonin kunoichi to get out of having to do a seduction mission. To refuse it looks bad on their record, allowing the mission board to authorize them for only the worst missions available. Heiresses gain some time before having to be sent out, but as long as they are ninja of the village, they will eventually have to go on one." He then looked Hinata in the eye, "I don't want you to have to go alone on one; nobody deserves to have to do that shit alone."

The Hyuuga heiress felt herself go red, and had to resist the urge to faint. Sakura just stared at Naruto, as he revealed a side of himself that was totally new to her.

Ino just scoffed and narrowed her eyes, "What, exactly, makes you think that you'd be a good handler?"

She backed down the instant he turned his eyes on her. There was a darkness in those eyes of his, one tainted by sorrow and guilt, "I've worked as a handler several times already, when Sensei and I travelled the Elemental Countries, both as watcher and participant. I know what to expect, and how to handle every occasion. I'm probably the only person in all the Hidden Villages who can get past the guards at the Jiyuuna Ookami without tipping anyone off. Problem is, I can't do it alone."

Sakura and Hinata just stared at him. Sakura because she never heard any of this before, and Hinata for not only the same reasons, but because there was a sadness in her Naruto-kun's voice. It was . . . distressing.

Tsunade just stared at Naruto. "Do you have a file I can look at?" The blonde boy just reached behind him, pulling out a scroll from which he unsealed a black file. He tossed at Tsunade, who opened the front cover . . . and frowned. After about a minute of flipping through the file, she looked at Naruto, "You have been assigned as team leader and handler for this mission."

Naruto could only nod back, and then turned to the girls, "Meet me in an hour at the front gates. I expect you to be prepared for two weeks travel. Any necessary supplies will be purchased using mission funding. That is all."

Still somewhat shellshocked, the kunoichi obeyed, shuffling out the door. Naruto was about to follow, but he was pulled back by Tsunade into a tight embrace. As Naruto relaxed into the hug, he heard Tsunade whisper, "Remind me to castrate that pervert when I see him in the afterlife, please."

Not much had to be said after that.

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They took off from the front gates at a brisk walk, as Naruto insisted. When asked why he was setting such as slow pace, he insisted that they had plenty of time, and to go faster would just be a waste of energy.

They had been walking for hours. In fact, the sun was starting to set before Hinata managed to raise the courage to ask, "Naruto-kun?"

The blonde boy looked back at her, "Yeah Hinata-chan?"

"You said that you had been a handler several times before . . . Naruto-kun, why didn't you mention this before?"

Ino and Sakura could only blink. Did they sense a tone of accusation in the normally polite Hyuuga's voice?

Naruto turned back around, and for a moment, it seemed as if he wasn't going to answer. After a few moments of silence, Hinata scowled, and was about to repeat her question when Naruto said, "If you are assigned to assassinate a man, one who you have wanted to kill anyways, but just didn't have a reason to, how would you feel? Would you jump at the chance? It isn't a question about morals; the bastard would deserve death, killing many people a thousand times over, hurting them in the worst ways. Your mission would be to kill him, and there would be, should be, no guilt involved in the assassination."

Naruto stopped walking, his voice growing thick, "The problem is, that when you go to kill him, he turns around and willingly throws himself on the knife. His death could have been swift, but the way he throws himself on your knife would guarantee him a long and painful death, and as he dies, you're left there, staring in horror at a man who willingly chose to die by your hand, after committing so much evil, when your mission was to kill him."

As the blonde turned around, the three kunoichi gasped at the look in his eyes: A look of one who was trying, and succeeding, in holding back tears. "You should feel no guilt; it was your mission, after all, but it doesn't work that way, and what he has done will make you question your emotions, your actions, your life, for the rest of your days, even after you find out that he planned to die like that in the very beginning, even before he set himself up as a martyr that no one will ever acknowledge, for though his life may have brought terror and murder, his death will have brought a peace that will carry on for generations to come."

He then turned around and started walking again, but not before throwing back one last sentence, "I didn't tell you because I was hiding it; I didn't tell you because I didn't want to share my guilt with anyone. It is my burden to bear."

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The sun had set, and camp had long been set up before another question could be asked of Naruto.

"Hey, Naruto, what exactly can we expect from a seduction misson?" Ino asked.

The blonde jinchuriki rubbed the back of his neck. "Most are pretty much the same: you flirt with the mark, get him to buy a couple of drinks for you, you show a bit of skin, and when he is all hot and bothered, you suggest you go someplace nice and private. The rest should be obvious, to you and Sakura, at least."

The pinkette narrowed her eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Naruto shrugged, "I know Hinata-chan still has hers, but you guys . . . " Naruto paused as he noticed Sakura's growing anger. Ino caught on a moment later, as Naruto added, "But surely . . . "

When he noticed Ino sprout a battle aura, his eyes widened, and he groaned, "Kami, not only do they set this up in one of the most dangerous nightclubs in the Elemental Countries for a bounty on one of the most dangerous men that has ever existed, they send three virgins to do it! What the fuck!"

Ino and Sakura could only drop their anger as Naruto sprung up and started pacing, muttering hastily made plans to himself, and then shaking his head every so often.

Both the blond girl and the pinkette looked to Hinata, who was also staring at them oddly, "I apologize, but both of you has dated several guys since our genin days. I guess I assumed . . . ."

Ino winced, "I may have dated quite a few guys, but I'm not a slut or anything. The farthest I've ever gotten is some heavy petting."

Sakura blushed, "Same."

The three kunoichi jumped when Naruto whirled around, collapsing onto the log he had originally been sitting on. "Alright, this changes everything. Sending you three to try to seduce and kill this guy would be like pushing you off a cliff. You may want to double check with your parents, as all they would have had to do was mention that you were still virgins, and you'd be off the mission. Then again, with Homura running intelligence, they may not have been giving the option; that bastard always seems to know how to get his way."

"Here's the deal: I can get you three through this fuck up of a mission with minimal risk to your virginities, but you have to follow my orders to the letter. If you don't think you can follow them, then let me know and I'll do my best to make them doable. You ignore my orders, however, and you could very well end up dead, or worse, taken prisoner, and not even Kami will be able to save your virginities then!"

Naruto then got up, and walked towards his tent.

Not another word was said that night.

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The next day was taken at the same slow pace, but nobody could fault Naruto for that. As he walked, he kept writing stuff down in a notebook, erasing something, and, on occasion, ripping entire pages out and throwing them on the wayside. Around midday, he stopped and turned around, "Hey, you guys know how to pretend to be drunk?"

Ino nodded her head, but Sakura looked nervous and unsure, while Hinata shook her head.

The boy sighed, "Any objections to actually getting drunk during the mission?"

Sakura blinked, "Wouldn't that interfere with our mission objective?"

"Only if you are an obnoxious drunk. I'll be doing the actual assassination, but you guys are going to have to be my cover. I've got a couple ideas on how to do that, but they all will require some intense acting on your part."

Naruto sighed again and started to walk, continuing to look over his notebook. After a minute of this, Hinata nervously asked, "N-naruto-kun?"

Said boy winced; he had spent a while breaking her of that habit, and now he had caused her to be nervous enough to fall off the wagon, "Yeah, HInata-chan?"

"Um, wh-what are your plans for this? We thought you were going to tell us, but . . . "

He winced again, "Yeah, sorry about that; trying to figure out the least troublesome way to do this, and nothing is looking good. Pretty much, I've got three plans that could possibly work. The first is we can go in as a player, that's me, and three drunk chicks he's hoping to score with. It's probably the easiest route, but the fact is that only Ino knows how to act drunk, and actually getting you drunk could be dangerous, as I don't know how you get while intoxicated."

"Plan B would be the party girl scenario. We go in as four girls looking to get drunk and have fun. The bonus to this scenario would be that, as girls, it would be easier to move around and interact with the rest of the club goers. The downside is the possibility that none of them are nice enough to take the word 'no' to mean 'no'."

"Well that, and the fact that there are only three girls in this group," Ino retorted.

Naruto turned around, continuing to walk backwards while he went through a short series of seals. With a cloud of smoke, he turned into a ponytailed blond wearing a feminine cut of his original orange and black outfit, "Do I look like a girl now?"

Sakura's eyebrow twitched, and she launched a punch at the newly blond girl, but to her surprise, instead of dispelling the technique, all it did was launch her back a few yards.

Naruto got up from where she landed, pouting, "That hurt, Sakura-chan!"

Ino walked towards her, frowning, and then poked the girl's ample bosom. Finding actual resistance, she exclaimed, "What the hell? This is real!"

Hinata nodded, "You mean you didn't know? I thought it was kind of obvious . . . "

Both Sakura and Ino whirled around, fixing her with incredulous looks, "You mean you knew?" they exclaimed in stereo.

The blunette just pointed to her eyes. "My Byakugan can see through most genjutsu. When I noticed Naruto was having problems with the bunshin technique back in the academy, I thought I'd see if I could find out what was wrong with him. Once I saw him use this, I knew immediately that it wasn't genjutsu-based, like how most ninja henge. It's one of the reasons I always believed in Naruto, even when he failed the exams all three times."

Naruto blushed at this; he/she was still shocked to this day that he had a supporter, even way back then. It was one of the reasons that he/she adored Hinata as much as he/she did.

"But it usually dispels after Naruto gets hit!" Sakura exclaimed, still in shock.

Naruto shrugged his/her shoulders, "Actually, the technique has to be consciously released to reverse the shapeshift; whenever you'd hit me, I'd drop it, not wanting to piss you off even more. Besides," he/she grinned, "It was funnier that way!"

The pinkette resisted the urge to facefault as Ino asked, "So, who knew about this?"

The apparent girl grinned embarrassedly, "Only you, Jiraiya-sensei, and a few other girls that I worked with as a handler really know about this technique. Ero-sennin figured it out from the moment he saw it the first time, which was probably a mistake, since he kept trying to get me to help him set up his sex scenes in his book, or help him spy on girls changing or bathing. He stopped after I tricked him into peeping on a couple of Kumo kunoichi and then revealed his presence. I think it was the fact that he nearly lost his testicles to that one chick."

She then shifted back into his original male body. "The great thing about that technique is that it takes no chakra to maintain. The body is real, and I once ended up getting it checked out by a med-nin I worked with once, so I know that it'll pass any inspections. The only problems are that the clothes I shift into are chakra constructs, and will fade if I don't maintain them, and that I hate it when guys try to hit on me in that form." Naruto shivered, "I don't like guys THAT way, thank you very much!"

The three kunoichi could only giggle a bit at that. After a few seconds of this, Ino asked, "Are there any other ideas, Naruto?"

The boy grimaced, "Just one. It has the most possibility of working out, as my end of the act would help me to fit in with the underground crowd the Ookami is designed for, and it would allow me to direct you three without suspicion. However, I'm pretty sure you guys won't like your end of the act."

He sighed when he noticed that all three girls were still listening to him, "I've got a persona set up from a few previous jobs I played Handler for. Pretty much, I'd play the cruel slaver and kidnapper who kidnapped three girls and has bent them to my will."

The three jonin kunoichi looked on in growing horror as Naruto continued to outline this idea, "The fact that you are kunoichi could be fixed with some specially designed manacles that were designed to prevent the wearer from using any chakra based technique at all, making your visible threat levels zero. My image would require me to get rough with the three of you though, which I do not relish having to do. However, it would give me the chance to try to talk 'business', with Takanato, getting close enough to dose his food with a slow acting poison or something like that."

Ino swallowed nervously, "Um, h-how rough are we talking about here?"

Naruto grunted, "Heavy insults, a harsh blow or two, a bunch of harsh groping that will most likely leave bruises in the morning, and if you know how to give an under-the-table handjob, that will pretty much go the required persona. Problem is, only Hinata can pull off the submissive act needed for something like this, and I doubt she'd be able to emotionally handle the type of insults I'd sling around."

Sakura, paler than white, just stared at her blond teammate, and gulped, "Naruto . . . wh-why would you have a persona like this set up?"

Silenced reigned again for about a hundred more yards before Naruto chose to answer. "There was an incident a while back over by Kiri, involving a large slave trade group that boasted of several high ranked missing nins among their ranks. One of Jiraiya's many jobs when he used to wander was to act as a freelance handler for small Hidden Villages and groups like that, and it was something he was training me to do too. When the leader of this resistance group called us, I thought it would be more like the job I did before . . . the only job I had done at the time."

"I wasn't really thrilled about it. The Seductress from that first one was a real bitch, and enjoyed trying to play with my head. When I first saw the girl I was working with, I kind of assumed the same, since she did kind of enjoy flirting with me a lot. The plan was for the girl, Kimiko, to infiltrate this group as a favored slave. To aid in this, I would be given the job of acting as her owner. Jiraiya set up the ID using his network (best way to spread a rumor would be to send it out among an already reliable network, by the way . . . something to think about)."

"Long story short, we infiltrated the group, and in order to prove myself to those bastards, I had to pretty much fuck Kimiko into submission." Naruto broke off at this point, and swallowed a couple times. Still, the dryness of his voice when he picked the story back up was notable. "Jiraiya had paid a hooker to teach me the ins and outs of sex, so I knew what I was doing . . . plus, by the time we were in position, she had gotten me pretty riled up with her flirting and all . . . wasn't until I had finished with the show that I realized that something was wrong . . . there was blood where there wasn't meant to be . . . "

The blond boy looked back to the three girls, and, while his face was impassive, his eyes had a guilty glow about them, "Turns out, this was her first Seduction mission, ever . . . and she had only ever received basic training . . . before she met me, she was still a virgin . . . "

Horror spread amongst the three kunoichi as Naruto continued, "Turns out, she was almost like Sakura-chan during our genin days . . . Civilian family, no ninja background to help her train . . . and a lazy-ass teacher who spent more time training her male teammates than anything else. When he recommended the team to the Chunin Exams, which were about a year after the invasion, she got her ass kicked, shaming the delegation from Kiri. When they got back home, one of the Mizukage's advisors decided to punish her by assigning her a brutal seduction mission, using me as Handler for Plausible Deniability. Part of her punishment was that she could not reveal herself as a virgin, and he put a Secrecy Seal on her tongue to ensure that . . . "

Sakura was paleface at this point in the tale, imagining what could have happened to her if she was put in this girl's place. Ino wasn't much better, despite the fact that she came from a Ninja Clan herself. Hinata herself was quivering in horror and fear; her status in the clan had improved somewhat since her genin days, but she could recall how her father treated her back then, and she knew that this was something that wasn't far from what he could have done.

Naruto continued walking, and the girls followed him in silence. Finally, Ino managed to gather the courage to ask, "Naruto, what happened after that?"

Their leader turned around, "What do you mean?"

Ino snorted, "Somehow, I doubt you would have left things alone back then. What did you do?"

The boy smirked, "What do you know about Clan adoptions?"

Hinata blinked, "Um, some clans have bylaws stating that orphans or Civilians who meet specific qualifications can be taken in and adopted as a full member of that Clan. It's not really common, and I don't think that any of Konoha's clans . . . "

Her eyes widened at this thought, "Wait, you mean that the Uzumaki clan . . . "

"Yep!" Naruto quipped, "Jiraiya explained a few things about how clans worked, and while he would never tell me who my parents were, he did say that my Mom's clan was known for adopting promising orphans or Civilians who lacked the resources required to be proper ninja. Since Hidden Villages have laws protecting Clans from having to share clan techniques, I decided to adopt her as a member of my clan, and, behind privacy seals (which, considering my persona was supposed to be of a paranoid sadistic bastard, was well within character), I taught her the Rasengan. By the time the mission was over three months later, she had it down well enough to slam it into her teacher's sternum, putting him in the hospital for a few days."

"Of course," he chuckled evilly, "That was after I played a massive prank on the city that caused widespread chaos, and then informed the Mizukage that I would do worse if I wasn't listed as Kimiko's Primary Handler on any future Seduction Mission she was given." His grin grew, "Turns out, the advisor who set this up was acting without authorization, and the Mizukage had the old bastard executed shortly after I left her office."

"So that was the end of it, right?" Sakura asked, curious.

"Nah, I ended up joining her on two more Seduction missions after that."

Naruto looked back to find the girls frozen in shock, staring at him, "Hey, we did so well on that first mission that the Mizukage decided to use us a few more times before I had to return to Konoha. Freelance work was mainly against slave traders and illegal prostitution rings, so it wasn't a big deal. Besides, it turns out that I was a better teacher than I thought; turns out, Kimiko was asked to undergo Seduction training to clear up the subpar training she was given earlier."

"She did so well, the Mizukage was able to give her private combat tutoring under the table, under the disguise of advanced Seduction training, considering that she used to run those kinds of missions as well. Last I checked, Kimiko was quickly becoming a kickass combat specialist, and had knocked both her teammates on their asses when her teacher tried to get his revenge with a three way 'spar'."

Naruto paused for a second, and then went back to writing something in his book, "Yeah, actually, that might just work . . . "

The three kunoichi blinked at this, as he continued to write something that caused his grin to get wider and wider. Finally, just when the girls were moving from nervous to terrified, he looked over and asked, "Hey Ino, Sakura, how would you guys feel about making out with each other? I have a plan that just might work out if you'd be willing to work with it . . . "


	8. The Watcher of Tokyo3

I really should have been working on something else, TTMA or SS, but my muse kept coming out with this. I imagined a Saotome Trained Shinji, and suddenly my muse would toss in a vampire and I'd have to clean house. So I got the start of this out, and I'm hoping I can get back to more vital stories.

To be honest, the next chapter of TTWPL is almost done; I just have to figure out how to write the last scene. Once I get this done, I can get a chapter of SS out. It all depends on how well things go for me.

Summary: His father left him with a caretaker, only for him to pass on as well-and not in a peaceful manner. Now he's fourteen, and he's been raised by one of the few warriors who truly believes that blood is only thicker than water when it comes in contact with air. He knows how to hunt . . . he knows how to slay . . . and now, he gets to join the fight against the Angels . . .

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"Drive, woman, DRIVE!"

Normally, if anyone had said that to Katsuragi Misato, they'd have been beaten within an inch of their life. However, the fact that they were meters away from getting crushed by falling military helicopters and an Angel gave the young boy a pass . . . As long as he didn't do it again.

She glanced over at the Ikari scion sitting beside her. She had seen an old picture of him, only five or six years old, when she was told to pick him up at the train station. He still had short brown hair, though it was a bit shaggier now. His light blue eyes were wide with shock, though she couldn't see a hint of pure terror in them. Misato idly noted that his face was rather bishounen.

What she wasn't expecting was what he was wearing. She had thought that he'd look almost professional, or kind of moody (considering he had lost his mother and had been abandonedcby his father at such an early age.

She wasn't expecting him to be wearing a garish red and blue Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts.

"What the hell are you wearing?" she just had to ask.

The boy shrugged, "It's the traditional outfit of the Harris family in situations like this."

Misato blinked, "Wait, aren't you Ikari Shinji, the Commander's son?"

The boy grimaced, "It's Ikari-Harris Shinji now, and I'd call that bastard Rokubungi from now on around me. Ikari is the name of my mother's clan."

The violet haired woman nodded hesitantly, "I'm guessing you don't like your father much."

"if you mean that I'd like to see him castrated, scalped, tossed in a pot of boiling oil, and then decapitated, then yes, I don't like him."

She couldn't help but snort. "Wow, and Ritsuko said I have issues. . . "

"if you do, then I guess I have the subscription."

Misato giggled at that, "I'm Katsuragi Misato. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

Shinji grinned, "Pleasure's all mine. Who's the Gojira imitator back there?"

This time, Misato guffawed. "Oh, Ritz is going to hate you if you say that to her face." Pushing the laughter aside, she told him, "That's an Angel. It's what NERV was commissioned to fight against."

Shinji couldn't help but snort incredulously, "You're kidding, right?"

"Don't ask me, I just call them what the higher-ups call them."

The brunette nodded skeptically, and then turned sound to see what was going on behind them. Noticing how the copters were retreating from the monstrosity, he cursed, and jerked back around to face toward. "Find us some cover NOW! They're dropping an N2 mine!"

"What?" Misato squawked, jerking the wheel to the side. The car drifted to the side, the smell of burnt rubber prevalent in the air. It skidded to a stop behind what was left of a concrete wall as Misato stretched her neck in the air, trying to see what was going on.

Just then, the bomb struck the Angel, erupting in a wave of light and hot air that came their way. Misato tried to dive on top of Shinji, only to find the young man had twisted around and on top of her. Before she could protest, the rush of hurricane force winds hit the barrier, tearing through it and pushing the car into a roll.

After the dust settled, Misato opened her eyes to find Shinji on top of her, grinning sheepishly. Noticing how they were, Misato couldn't help but be a tease, "You sure move fast for a fourteen year old."  
She was pleased to see the boy blush, but was shocked when he retorted, "This, coming from the woman who sent me a cheesecake picture of herself in the mail? If I didn't know any better, I'd worry about my innocence here."

Misato couldn't help but blush at the boy's cocky smirk. This, she definitely didn't expect . . . .

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Half an hour later, the car was on the road again, duck tape holding the front fender on. Shinji had stunned her when he slammed his shoulder into the car and caused it to turn upright. He stunned her even more when he got up under the hood and got to work on fixing the engine.  
Still, nothing was going to fix the damage done at this point.

"Yes, don't worry, his safety is my top priority," Misato said into the cell phone, "Look, can you get a car train ready for us? An express, of course . . . Well I did volunteer to pick him up, so it's only my duty to see that he gets there. See ya!"

Hanging up, the purple haired vixen couldn't help but suppress a sigh _'This stinks! I-I just had this car repaired and it's a total wreck already! Thirty three more payments to go, plus the cost of repairs . . . A-and look! My favorite dress is ruined! RUINED! And I looked so good in it!'_

"Hey Misato-san, how much did that dress cost you again?"

Unthinkingly, she rattled off an estimated price, and then blinked as she realized what had happened. Twisting around, she found the lad texting something into his cell. "How is that still working?"

He didn't look at her, too busy texting, "It's a high grade prototype. An EMP could be dropped on top of us, and it would't do a thing to this baby!" Flipping the phone shut, he turned to her with a smirk. "Let me run by a bank tomorrow, and I'll have your compensation fee for you."

Misato felt her jaw drop, "C-compensation fee?"

Shinji nodded solemnly, "You put your life at risk picking me up, and totaled your car AND your dress in the process. My Dad . . . my adopted father that is . . . gives his . . . employees an allowance for damaged outfits and gear within reasonable limits. Considering how part of my trip here was on the company payroll, I can use it to pay you back."

The NERV officer knew that she shouldn't take it, but all she could do was nod dumbly and mutter, "Thanks."

The brunette boy nodded absentmindedly, and then gestured to the back seat, where a dozen car batteries were sitting, "And just to be sure, is that legal?"

She winced, "Uh, don't worry about it. Um, it's an emergency and we needed a working car, right? Uh, I am a government official after all, so everything is going to be perfectly fine. Okay? Okay!"

"I don't think anyone is going to buy that excuse," Shinji retorted, scowling at the violet maned driver.

"Ah, you're no fun!" Misato pouted.  
"You are a government official! At the very least, use a coverall excuse!" Shinji fired back, "Say that you

were concerned about what the N2 mine might have done to the life expectancy of the batteries. Hell, blame the mechanic who had to rig up your engine if you have to. Just don't try to use government authority as an excuse; nobody ever bought it before, so why would it work now?"

Misato blinked at this, "You know, you've got a point."

"Damn right I do!"

"Still you saying that I can blame you doesn't exactly fill me with confidence in your mechanic skills."  
Shinji just grunted imperiously, "I'll let you get away with doubting my mad mechanic skills just this once, only because you are under a lot of stress. Doubt me again, however, you can forget me paying back for the damages done to your car and dress!"

"Eep! I'm sorry! I'll never doubt you again! Promise!"

Shinji smirked, "Now we're getting somewhere!"

Turning back to the front windshield, he noticed that they had driven into a tunnel, and were approaching two steel doors. Misato pressed a button on a device above her on the adjustable mirror, causing them to open. They drove onto a platform just beyond them, which jolted to the left shortly after the doors slammed shut.

"Hey, do you have the ID that your dad sent you?" Misato asked him.

Shinji pulled the ID card from his pocket, "Yeah, it's the only thing I was able to salvage from the package you sent me."

"Salvage?"

"My adopted father incinerated the note Rokubungi sent me, and Faith-kaa-san kind of took the photo you sent me."

Misato couldn't help but smirk, "Ah, your mommy thought that was too explicit for little Shinji-chan?"

"No, more like she and Dawn-kaa-san wanted to critique it."

"Critique it? Wait, I thought your mother was named Faith?"

"You ever read any of those manga where there are a bunch of girls chasing after this one guy?"

"Yeah, where are you going with this?"

"Ever wonder what would happen if two of those girls ever decided to share?"

Misato was flummoxed, "You mean . . . "

The boy just fidgeted, "Kind of, but not really. See, Dawn-kaa-san and Dad were together when they adopted me. Two years afterwards, my then Aunt Faith kind of had a bad break with her bastard of a lover. She came over for a few months, and got continuously plastered. One night, Dad and Dawn-kaa-san joined her for drinks, the next night, I saw all three of them leave my parent's room. Hasn't stopped yet."  
"You're kidding!"

"I wish," Shinji looked faintly nauseous, "the less I know about my parent's love life, the better. What I know now is bad enough.

Deciding to change the subject, Misato fished out a small book and passed it to him, " Here, read this."

Taking it, Shinji looked at the cover, "NERV, huh? This is the group my Sperm Doner operates, right?"  
Misato grinned as he skimmed through the book, "Yeah, you and I are going to get along fine." Suddenly a glow lit up the car, and Shinji could only whistle as they passed into a humongous cavern, with what looked like a model city hanging on the ceiling way out in the distance. Misato could understand his reaction.

She did something similar herself when she first entered the Geofront.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"Are we there yet?"

Misato felt a vein on her forehead throb as she lead the way down the hall. Everything was fine for the first five or six minutes, but then they hit the tramway, and he HAD to comment about the draft that raised her skirt to a near obscene level. Then he started asking the cursed question . . . And asking it . . . And asking it . . .

"For the twentieth time, we are not THERE YET!"

"Shinji grinned mischievously, "We're lost, aren't we."

"We aren't lost," Misato snapped back, "do you really want to push my buttons right now?"

"Nah, just warming up for the opening act."

She jerked around to look at him, and noticed him wearing a grin not unlike one she had seen on a wild raccoon. "Wha . . . you were playing with me, weren't you?"

His grin grew into a smirk, "Guilty. Got to be at my worst to give Rokubungi my best."

"Did you have to do that to ME, though?"

"You see anyone else around here?"

Feeling that vein throb again, Misato caught sight of the elevators out of the corner of her eyes. Grabbing Shinji by the arm, she dragged him over to stand in front of them. She hit the button, only to jump in surprise when the elevator opened to present . . .

"Uh, hi there, Ritsuko."

The tall, blonde, brown eyed woman stepped out of the elevator, pressing Misato back as she did so. Opening her mouth to fire a reprimand at her friend, the woman was shocked to hear a loud wolf whistle from her right. Turning, she found . . .

"What the hell are you wearing?"

Shinji grinned, enjoying the usual reaction, "Traditional traveling clothes of my adopted family. Now if I may be so bold, what are YOU wearing? Is that the uniform for the research division here, because if it is, then please, sign me up!"

The woman stepped back, a furious blush on her cheeks. Having just gotten out of working on some submerged piece of machinery, she had only had time to take off her wetsuit and grab a lab coat. She hadn't even buttoned it, leaving it open to showcase the light blue one piece swimsuit she had been wearing beneath the wetsuit. It was of modest cut, but suddenly it seemed to be tightly hugging her hips and bust.

Misato couldn't help but giggle at her friend's awkward surprise, "Shinji, I'd like you to meet Doctor Akagi Ritsuko. Ritsuko, may I present Ikari-Harris Shinji."

Shinji took the stunned doctor's hand, brushing her knuckles with his thumb as he did so. Bringing it to his lips, he murmured, "Charmed, I'm sure."

Realizing just how badly she was blushing, she tried to get herself back under control, mentally scolding herself for even being slightly attracted to the fourteen year old boy in front of her.

Misato grinned and nudged her friend in the side. "Nothing like his father, isn't he?" she asked, chuckling.

Ritsuko huffed at her, "You do know that you're running late, right?"

Misato winced, about to apologize when Shinji took over, "We're sorry about that, but the map we had was of horrible quality, and we were forced to take the scenic route, as it were."

"Both women blinked, "Um Shinji, what's with the British accent?" Misato asked.

Shinji grinned impishly, "My adopted grandfather and several of my adopted uncles are from England, and I've picked up a few things from them, it seems." He then stepped into the elevator, "So are we going down? The sooner we get where we are going, the sooner I can give Rokubungi those hernias I owe him!"

Ritsuko could only glance over at her violet haired friend, who giggled and stepped close to her, "Yes, that is the Third Child. Now shall we go, or should we just stand around and gossip like a bunch of old maids, hm?"

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Shinji gave the two older women only token attention as he skimmed through the handbook. Both women were talking business, mentioning things like the Marduk Report, Unit One, and B type Equipment. He chuckled at the joke hidden in the phrase 'Oh-Nine System, ignoring the odd look both women gave him as he did so.

He continued to read the book as they road across a small sea of reddish liquid, only looking up as they walked into a dark room. As the doors closed behind them, Shinji tensed, ready to fight his way out if necessary, only for the lights to turn on. Looking forward, he marveled at the gigantic, demonic visage of . . .

"It's a giant robot," he gasped.

"This is man's ultimate fighting machine," Ritsuko proudly proclaimed, "the synthetic life form known as 'Evangelion, Unit 01. Built here in secret, it is mankind's last hope!"

"Dramatic much?" Shinji quipped, causing the scientist to frown at him. However, his next actions caused her to greatly raise her opinion of the boy.

Stepping closer to the purple mechanical monstrosity, Shinji squinted at it, and frowned, "Wait, I think I remember this . . . my mother was working on this thing before she-"

"Correct."

At the cold word, Shinji twisted around, a sudden snarl on his lips, "Rokubungi." The sudden animalistic expression on his face made Ritsuko and Misato gasp. He didn't notice though, his entire attention taken up by the balcony above them.

There, Commander Ikari Gendo frowned down at them. He recognized the boy's visage, but the expression on it was alien to his expectations. "What are you wearing?"

"An outfit specially designed to raise the blood pressure of unruly assholes," Shinji retorted at the man, a feral smirk on his lips, "now what the fuck did you call me here for?"

The older man analyzed the boy. He was meant to be weak, easily moldable. He wasn't meant to be staring him down with a look of barely restrained rage in his eyes.

Then again, he wasn't meant to recognize Unit 01 for what it was, either.

Gendo turned his gaze towards Ritsuko and Misato, "We're moving out."

Misato jerked back, "Moving out? But Unit 00 is still in cryostasis!" She then gasped, "Wait a minute, you're gonna use Unit 01?"

"There's no other way," Ritsuko softly, solemnly replied.

"Now wait, Rei can't do it yet, can she? We don't have a pilot!"

"We just received one."

A look of mild horror shot across Misato's face, "You're serious?"

"Hold on a minute!" The trio of adults looked down at Shinji, "You expect me to pilot a barely successfully tested piece of machinery to destroy a giant monster that is terrorizing the city?" Glaring up at Gendo, he snarled, "Can I have some of what you're smoking, please? Must be some real good shit!"  
He then jabbed a finger at Ritsuko, "You're hair color must have come from a bottle, am I right?" As Ritsuko gasped in shock and outrage, he continued to rant, "Has the dye rotted your brain or something? You want a fourteen year old to pilot something that has a one in ten billion chance of working against Gojira's cousin out there? Surely you have somebody trained to do this! Anyone who knows how to pilot this monster would do a hundred times better than I would, no matter how special you think I am!"

As Shinji continued to rant and rave against the insanities of the people in charge, he barely noticed Gendo saying to "Send for the spare." he was getting to the point where Gendo should check for hernias by sticking his head up his ass when the doors opened again. Jerking around, expecting Security, he instead found three medics and a gurney.  
As his eyes settled on the gurney, his heart stopped. He recalled the moment where he had just gotten

off the train, and noticed an apparition a few yards away from him. At the time, he had thought it was just a lost soul who had died in the wreckage, but she was definitely alive . . . Though for how much longer, he couldn't say.

Her short hair was sky blue, skin pale white and her eyes blood red, but she wasn't outfitted in the school uniform her ghostly double wore. Instead, she wore some kind of sleeveless, blue and white skintight jumpsuit. Bandages were wrapped around her arms, around her chest under the suit, and over her right eye. An IV was attached to her left arm.

Shinji stared at the girl's face as she was rolled in. It was impassive, emotionless. When the medics helped her to sit up, he could read the intense pain she must have felt in every movement. It must have been pure agony, and as he watched her sit there, panting and trying not to sob from the intense pain, he felt a white hot fury shoot through him.

Somebody was going to pay for this.

Suddenly, the room shook. Rubble fell from the ceiling and the girl's bed toppled over, spilling her from where she rested. And Misato and Ritsuko could only gawk as Shinji MOVED.

One moment, Rei was about to land on the ground, the next, Shinji had slid under her arms out to catch her. One hand wrapping around her chest, the other around her hips, he cradled her and did his best to keep her from gaining any more damage. A split second later, he braced himself, and both women could only scream in terror as the overhead lights fell right above them, threatening to crush them where they huddled.

That was when the hand of the behemoth known as Unit 01 rose from the pool of red liquid and knocked them away. Shinji vaguely noted as one practically shattered against a transparent wall right in front of Gendo. He barely recognized the scientist shout how something was impossible, or how Misato mentioned how the giant robot was protecting him.

No, his pure, unfettered attention was focused on the girl in his arms, writhing in sheer agony, trying not to faint. Ignoring the wetness on his hands, which he recognized as fresh blood, he gently stroked her hair, causing the girl to open her eyes up in surprise. He noted how she seemed to marvel at his face for some reason as he continued to stroke her hair. Gently, he leaned down, and she could barely hear his whisper, "Rest, you are safe now. _**Dormìr**_."

The girl fell in, losing consciousness in his arms. He continued to stroke her hair as he got up, gave the gurney a hard kick to upright it, and then set her down on it. He smiled at the peaceful look on her face, and then turned around to face the adults. To Ritsuko, he ordered, "Get this thing programmed for me. I'm going in."

He then turned to face his father and both women gawker as they saw Gendo, a man who stood impassive even when debris was crashing against his shield, flinch.

Then again, if the young man had given them the look of pure, barely restrained rage that he had given the Commander, they'd have to get a fresh pair of underwear. His voice, colder than ice, rang through the room, "After this is all over, I'm coming for you Old Man. You will regret the day you left me behind. When I'm done with you, you'll wish that you were as dead as Kuwabashi-sensei, God rest his soul!"  
He then marched up to Ritsuko and Misato and asked, "So how do I get in this thing, anyways?"

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WHAT HAPPENS NEXT: Shinji wakes up and reviews his fight with the Angels. Misato and Ritsuko take a look back and realize that they may not be on the right side of this . . . or in the scientist's case, that she may be truly damned . . . then, Shinji moves in with Misato and makes a call for his stuff . . . and finds out that the Angels aren't the only things that are invading Tokyo-3. That and a Slayer is all coming up!


	9. Naruto of the Sheikah, Chapter 2

Sometimes, my muse won't quit; still, at least she came up with a thread that was attached to something I already put out. It's not much, but it's worth something at least.

Pharmacy school was a pain, and right before it ended, I had a nasty bicycle accident that left me in a sling with a broken collar bone. In that time, when I couldn't write down a few paragraphs to keep my muse happy, I was driven almost crazy with different ideas and the like. Still, it helped me come up with these four items, which I hope you all enjoy.

I do not own Legend of Zelda or Naruto. If I did, Wind Waker would have been ten times better, and Naruto would not have turned into the clusterfuck it is now. Sue someone else for a change!

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Trees smashed before him, as he tore through them as if they were grass. Kumo Jounin Takemito Gouren grinned grimly, swinging the small bundle under his left arm as if it weighed nothing . . . which it practically did.

After all, eight year old girls didn't weigh that much.

It was funny. For a Clan that considered themselves the best of the best, it was remarkably easy to outmaneuver. Then again, who knew a training technique used by Iwa Kunoichi to toughen themselves up for combat situations could make one immune to the infamous Jyuuken? After all that pain and agony, being able to storm through the compound as if it were paper and laugh at the stupid idiots try over and over again to close his tenketsu or damage his internal organs.

Still, he had a job to do, and gloating wouldn't help it. He already hit an unexpected snafu when one Hyuuga, his target's older sister, to be exact, caught him in a simple genjutsu long enough to try and stab him with a kunai. It didn't injure him, but the trickle of blood over his left eye was starting to get annoying.

Sensing movement from the left, he dodged a couple of kunai, and then spun to the right to avoid a barrage of small fireballs. Seems Konoha's last loyal Uchiha had noticed what was going on and had gotten ahead of him. Hey, maybe he could take the idiot genin back with him and steal both of Konoha's famous doujutsu while he was at it. Sure, he was given this as a suicide mission, but surviving and succeeding would definitely earn him major points with the Raikage.

Noticing more movement from the side, he dodged a spinning tornado of claws and wind, then lit up his right arm with chakra lightning to swat away a bunch of chakra devouring insects. Even more pests. Well, this should be easy enough.

As the Gatsuga from the genin Inuzuka came at him again, he swung his large, meaty fist at it, knocking him out of the air and into a tree. He then launched a bolt of thunder behind him, catching the lone Aburame unaware. The cloaks they wore shielded both them and their hives from the worst of their weaknesses, but it would still leave him stunned and disoriented for the better part of a few hours.

Timing it just right, he spun around and backhanded the Uchiha brat as he tried to engage him in Taijutsu. The harsh blow knocked the boy into a tree, allowing Gouren the chance to close in to pick him up . . . only to have to dodge as the young Hyuuga girl who nearly hit him earlier as she came out of nowhere, a sharp kunai in her hand and a wild, scared look in her eyes.

Gouren knew he had time. Two of his comrades, both high Jounins, had timed their attacks for the best results. One of them would storm the front gates, causing a ruckus and attracting the attention of the ANBU forces. The other had snuck in earlier and had attacked some of the Jounin, keeping them busy. In fact, if he hadn't had to storm through and smash the Nara boy out of his way, he might have only attracted the Hyuuga girl. Maybe it was more that blonde chick's fault. Pity they had no uses for Yamanaka . . .

Hinata lunged at the man again and again, kunai flashing over and over again. Normally, she was a very meek and passive girl, weak in the ways of the Jyuuken, and thus, the Hyuuga. However, Kurenai-sensei had taught her a specialized combat style involving kunai that looked pretty similar to Jyuuken, and as the 'Hyuuga Way' barely affected this guy, it was up to her to use non-traditional methods.

She knew she wasn't going to win. She knew that if help didn't arrive in time, she'd be kidnapped as well, and probably locked into some kind of horrid breeding program.

But there was no way in Hell that she was going to let her little sister be taken away without a fight!

Gouren snarled at the small girl who fought like a wild animal, and was about to just knock her out of his way when he was forced to dodge a small shadow, and then an expanded Akamichi brat. Behind him, he could sense the Yamanaka girl huddling by a tree next to a pinkette. Considering their lack of combat skills, they were probably training for seduction . . . well, if he could beat the brats before the real threats caught on and showed up, he might be able to get some action in.

There was a reason that no brothel ever let him in more than once, if they let him in at all.

He dodged a hail of kunai from another girl, this one a bit more of a challenge, but all it took was a thunder shot to take her out. A lightning covered fist knocked the Akimichi back into the Nara, and a round kick caught the Hyuuga unaware and spun her over to where the two sluts were hiding. Finding himself finally free of combatants, and not sensing any other pursuers. He stalked over to the three girls. The two soon to be victims held kunais out in defensive postures, but both knew that they were screwed. The Hyuuga, however, was still conscious, but suffering from a concussion.

"Heh, looks like I've got some fresh meat. Sure, I'll have to drag the three of you along for the fun, but I know a few nice hiding spots for a few rounds of . . . fun . . . " he leered, making both girls pale. He lunged, catching the pinkette in his right fist, but since his other hand was still engaged with his prisoner, the blonde managed to barely dodge. Still, he caught her shirt, allowing him to rip it and feast his eyes on the young, bandage covered chest of the Yamanaka. Sure, it wasn't much to look at, but he always liked his prey young. It was far more fun to break them in at that age.

So busy was he with his leering, that he almost missed the movement behind him. He raised his leg back to catch the enemy with a mule kick, only for the foe to . . . twist around somehow, allowing the unknown figure to slap a bit of paper on that leg.

Before he realized what it was, it ignited and exploded. His tough, rocklike skin kept him from losing the leg, but DAMN did that HURT!

The lithe figure spun around, and sharp pain was felt in his right wrist, forcing him to let go of the pinkette, tough not without tearing her shirt off, revealing that she had neglected to wear a bra. Still, he didn't have time to notice, as the stranger spun around and snapped a kick at his neck, forcing him to dodge or risk a damaging blow to his trachea.

Again and again the shadowed ninja struck out, forcing him to step backwards . . . and then trip as two more figures sprang out of the ground beneath him, grabbing his ankles. The sudden stumble loosened his grip on the captive girl, and before he could grab her back, a fourth figure appeared in a puff of smoke, grabbed her, and then vanished from sight. He rolled on the ground and lashed out at the two figures that held him, knocking them into trees. He then lunged at the first figure, catching him off guard and pinning him to the ground.

He raised a meaty fist in the air, ready to smash the boy's head in, only to hesitate for a second as he looked into his captive's eyes. Into his captives glowing RED eyes.

Only three types of people had those eyes. The first were the Uchiha, but theirs had characteristic tomoes within them. The second were jinchuriki, but there wasn't any demonic chakra in the air.

The third, and most dangerous, were said to be a legend, whispered by old men in dark places. He had seen those eyes once before, and that was right before their bearer carved into his jounin-sensei like a butcher did to a turkey.

And as he suddenly felt the temperature around him spike at an alarming rate, he suddenly realized why NOBODY ever pinned a Sheikah and lived to tell the tale . . .

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"HANABI-NEE!" Hinata yelped, lunging out of bed, only to gasp in pan as her ribs flared up. She nearly collapsed until two firm, yet gentle hands pushed her back into bed. A male voice whispered into her ear, and it took her a while before she realized that he was trying to tell her that her sister was safe.

It took her even longer before she realized that it was her father's voice.

Her vision cleared enough for her to look up at his face. Hyuuga Hiashi was usually a very composed, stoic man. However, having a juggernaut slam his way into his home, kidnap his youngest and nearly get away with both of his daughters had shaken up his emotional equilibrium.

Well, it was either that or the concussion he got from trying to go toe to toe with a muscular man with an immunity to Jyuuken blows.

"Hanabi-nee-chan! Where-"

"She is safe, Hinata," Hiashi breathed, still winded from getting his ass handed to him, "She's in the next room under ANBU guard. She's still rather traumatized, but the Yamanaka on call told me that she will be fine within a few weeks."

Hinata relaxed, "So who saved us?" At her father's raised eyebrows, she shrunk into herself, "My apologies, Otou-san, but there wasn't a Jounin in the area, and none of us genin could do anything to him. He even shrugged off Negi-nii-san, and he-"

"Kawa no Ishi."

Hinata jumped in shock, her father whirling around, byakugan at the ready only to gasp and nearly fall back in shock. Next to the window stood a slim, lanky figure, wrapped in blue and white cloth. White hair peaked out from the wrappings around his head, as bright red eyes seemed to laugh at the two Hyuuga. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, "I apologize, Hyuuga-san, for startling you and your daughter. However, I thought it fitting to inform you of the technique that allowed that man to bypass your Clan's abilities."

Hinata tensed for action, but her father slowly got up, and to her surprise, bowed to the unknown figure, "Arigatou Sheikah-sama for saving both of my daughters. I am honored by your presence. Forgive me for doubting you, but isn't that technique used by Iwa Kunoichi?"

The figure chuckled, "Rise, Hyuuga-san. Our clans split ways centuries ago, and though I have only recently heard of our ancient bond, I am not here to call it in. Rumors have it that a daughter of a high clan of Iwa ran away several years ago. It is possible that someone picked up on it, and spread her techniques around. While often used to allow kunoichi the ability to take blows that can shatter bone while dulling the pain, someone with a highly toned body could take it to higher levels, like what was seen tonight." As the older male tried to raise a question, the figure added, "I am only repeating what was told to me earlier; the Hokage might have a better explanation of it."

"I see," Hiashi nodded.

"F-father?" The two mailes turned towards the girl, who quietly eeped, "Wh-who is . . . "

Hiashi surprised her by chuckling, "The first Hyuuga came into being as the son of the Sheikah clan, one of the first shinobi clans in existence. They are said to possess the very first kekkai genkei, one which may have evolved into all known doujutsu bloodlines. Due to an . . . altercation, our ancestor set out on his own, with the Clan Chief's blessing as a vassal to the Sheikah."

Hinata gasped, "But then why have we never heard of them?"

"My clan was nearly wiped out over a decade ago," the Sheikah told her, "All that is left of the Sheikah is our legacy, our descendants, and myself." The figure bowed, and then vanished into thin air. Though Hinata activated her Byakugan to try and track him again, it was as if he had vanished into thin air.


	10. Harry Sparrow Spinoff

An author known as digisammiegirl has a story called Magical Secrets at Sea. It's a Harry Potter/Pirates of the Caribbean cross that creates an awesome setting and prologue to what would be an epic tale of Harry Sparrow and the chaos he would bring to the magical world at large. He/She seems to have left it open for others to run off with, but while I am interested, I don't think I would be able to do it justice, especially with my choppy update rate.

Still, it was too much for my muse to pass up, and she has created several scenes of the resulting chronicle. This is the only one I have written down.

I do not own the idea for this story; nor do I own Harry Potter or any series containing Captain Jack Sparrow. Go sue someone else for a change!

And if anyone wants to make this story into a reality, please let me know!

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The students watched as a fourth piece of parchment flickered out of the Goblet of Fire. Headmaster Dumbledore stared, aghast, as something completely unprecedented and unexpected happened. With shaking fingers, he caught the paper and glanced at it. "Harry Potter!"

A hush would have fallen over the crowd . . . in fact, it should have fallen over the crowd. Sadly, the doors slammed open just then, revealing a tall fourteen year old boy, wearing black jean pants, a tight silk shirt, and a bandolier with several old fashioned muggle pistols hanging from it. His normally messy black hair was pulled into a tight ponytail in the back, and his sharp green eyes was staring at a dirty old monkey dressed in a ratty black and white sailors outfit. Over his shoulder was a large sack.

"Oi, it's not my fault that you wanted to play poker for your swag, instead of the usual old song and dance. You, I, and Hedwig both know that I was trained by the best!" The monkey screeched at him and gave the boy the finger. "OK, so you were out raiding the town on those nights, still not my fault."

The chimp leapt off the boy's shoulder, latched on to a tapestry, and then climbed his way up to the rafters, where it promptly gave him two fingers, screeched a bit, and the disappeared among the woodwork. The boy just rolled his eyes and headed for the Head Table.

Dumbledore couldn't help but laugh a bit at the gobsmacked looks on Crouch and Bagman's faces. Behind him, he could hear Severus groan. The Potions Master didn't like James Potter on the best of times, but he couldn't help that wish the boy was more like his nemesis . . .

At least he wouldn't have that blasted undead monkey following him around then . . .

Harry reached the table and dropped the sack right in front of Professor McGonagall. "Sorry for the delay, Professor, but Jack wanted to try and gamble some of this stuff with Peeves. Had to win everything back from the two of them."

Digging in, he brought out a small necklace that he passed to the Transfigurations Mistress, who took it with a long suffering sigh, "It's alright, Mr Sparrow. It's not the first time he's taken off with it, and it probably won't be the last."

Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Harry, we seem to have a bit of a problem . . . "

"Yes Headmaster?"

The old man winced at the cold tone. For the past three summers, the Old Man had tried to return Harry back with his muggle relatives, but the boy hadn't taken well to the attempts. Nor had his guardians, including that old Sea Witch Tia Dalma . . .

Who scared the ever bloody hell out of the old man . . .

Silently, Professor Dumbledore passed the slip of paper to the lad, "That just came from the Goblet of Fire."

Harry glanced at it, "Did you put my name in, sir?"

Albus winced, "No, Mr Potter. This is as much a surprise to me as it is to you."

"True," Harry said, "I don't think I'll be participating, though."

"I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter. The Goblet has chosen you to act as a fourth champion."

"Forgive me, Headmaster, but with these artifacts, doesn't the chosen have to have put their name in themselves for the bond to take?"

"Actually," Crouch spoke up, "The Goblet was once used to pick a nominee as a champion. The practice was stopped a century and a half ago when a Ministry official was forced to compete."

Harry just glared at the man, and then sighed. "I see . . . "

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Harry was lead into another room, holding the other three champions. Victor Krum and Fleur Delacour glanced at the boy, confused. Cedric Diggory, however, just sighed as the boy entered. "Let me guess, more Sparrow luck?"

"Unfortunately, Cedric. Why else would I be stuck competing in a Deathtrap like this?"

"You, compete? Don't make me laugh!" Fleur exclaimed.

Harry glanced at her, and then glanced again. Suddenly, his wand was in his hand, as a sudden explosive sound filled the air. The residents of the room jumped, including Jack, who was hiding underneath the girl's skirt. Fleur shrieked, clutching her skirt to her knees as the monkey leapt for the window, only to be blown apart by another bang as he fell out.

Slowly, the three students and two headmasters looked to Harry, who was holding his wand in one hand and a pistol in the other, his sack on the floor beside him. He smiled disarmingly at Fleur, "Sorry about that, he tends to appear in the worst spots ever.

Clearing his hands, he bent over, opened the sack, and rummaged around in it. Finally, he came out with two wrapped parcels, which he handed to the shaken French girl. "I believe that Jack might have taken these from you earlier in the week. I apologize for the delay in returning him, but that blasted monkey has been going crazy this week, what with so many unlocked drawers and jewelry boxes lying around."

He then passed a small silver locket, which he passed to Victor. "I think this also belongs to you."

Cedric just rolled his eyes, and then noted Fleur's blush as she carefully peaked into one of the parcels. "Let me guess, Jack has been doing more panty raids?"

Fleur eeped, scandalized at the two Hufflepuffs, but Harry just shrugged. "I don't think he left anyone in Beuxbaton with a pair of underwear, and don't get me started with Durmstrang. Plus, I think I need to talk to some girls here about reusing last year's locking charms. He seems to have figured out how to get past them, you see."

"Oh?"

At Cedric's raised eyebrow, Harry shifted uncomfortably, "I've retrieved knickers belonging to both Greengrasses, Davis, Padma Patil, Susan, and surprisingly, Hermione. She's usually pretty good about switching the locking charms, but well, even the best can get lenient."

Cedric grimaced, "You sure he got into the Beauxbaton's carriages? It doesn't look like you got that much . . . "

"Jack has a rotten poker face. Peeves, however, is pretty good. Said something about creating a monument with what he still has. Besides, I get the feeling that a lot of the French witches here prefer going all natural anyways; he was hiding under their skirts long before he started raiding again."

The representatives from the French school were notably pale as they heard this.


End file.
